"The inability to reach orgasm is thought to occur in about 10% of women."
The X-Orgasm. What Is It?
Before we discuss X-orgasms, we first need to locate the cervix. In case you don't already know, the cervix is located inside the vagina. You can often reach your cervix with a finger and sitting on a toilet first will allow better access. It's usually a few inches inside, but when aroused, the vaginal canal lengthens, so the cervix will be further back. Once you've inserted a finger and you suddenly come to a "block in the road," you've reached your cervix. Feeling with a fingertip will allow you to know what your cervix feels like. It's usually a round, squishy and somewhat palpable organ. It feels like a mini donut. You'll often feel a "slit" or somewhat of a hole, depending on the time of the month.
The first time I had an X-orgasm, other than during intercourse, was while my partner was thrusting with a lengthy vibrator. This is a great way to locate and begin stimulating your cervix, but first you must get comfortable with it. Once you’ve located your cervix with a finger, apply gentle pressure. This will help you know what pace to work at when you begin stimulation with a toy or your partner. The X-orgasm is more of a full-body sensation than other orgasms.
When To Stimulate The Cervix
Having this X-orgasm is not like having an extra arm or leg. You can’t just activate it whenever you please, or at least that’s not how it works for me. There are days when it works in my favor completely and I’ll have these “wild” cervical orgasms and there are days when it’s painful for my partner to bump my cervix during intercourse. I just have to take note and be aware of when my cervix is happy. This works differently than my g-spot because almost any time of day or month, my partner can work my g-spot and have me fully there. My g-spot is just always in the mood, my cervix is not.
If someone were going to go on a quest to orgasm via cervical stimulation, I would say, from my own experience, to avoid trying on the days following your menstrual cycle and possibly on days you’re ovulating. However, I’ve found that I often experience the most intense X-orgasms on the days leading up to my menstrual cycle. Some women may find cervical stimulation the most enjoyable during their actual menstrual cycle. Everyone is different.
The reason I say you may want to avoid prodding at your cervix on days following your menstrual cycle is because those days are when your cervix (or mine, at least) is tender and stimulation can cause it to hurt rather than be pleasurable. Another thing I learned when figuring out how this works was if the opening of my cervix was very prominent, those are the times when I end up feeling pain rather than pleasure. But on days when my cervix is more closed, and I only feel a “slit” rather than a wider opening, then it’s a happy cervix day and that usually indicates it will be pleasurable.
It may even be a good idea to take note of your cervix’s position. I myself have what gynecologists refer to as a “tilted cervix". Whether or not my tilted organ has any relation to my ability to X-orgasm is beyond me.
The first time I had an X-orgasm, other than during intercourse, was while my partner was thrusting with a lengthy vibrator. This is a great way to locate and begin stimulating your cervix, but first you must get comfortable with it. Once you’ve located your cervix with a finger, apply gentle pressure. This will help you know what pace to work at when you begin stimulation with a toy or your partner. The X-orgasm is more of a full-body sensation than other orgasms.
When To Stimulate The Cervix
Having this X-orgasm is not like having an extra arm or leg. You can’t just activate it whenever you please, or at least that’s not how it works for me. There are days when it works in my favor completely and I’ll have these “wild” cervical orgasms and there are days when it’s painful for my partner to bump my cervix during intercourse. I just have to take note and be aware of when my cervix is happy. This works differently than my g-spot because almost any time of day or month, my partner can work my g-spot and have me fully there. My g-spot is just always in the mood, my cervix is not.
If someone were going to go on a quest to orgasm via cervical stimulation, I would say, from my own experience, to avoid trying on the days following your menstrual cycle and possibly on days you’re ovulating. However, I’ve found that I often experience the most intense X-orgasms on the days leading up to my menstrual cycle. Some women may find cervical stimulation the most enjoyable during their actual menstrual cycle. Everyone is different.
The reason I say you may want to avoid prodding at your cervix on days following your menstrual cycle is because those days are when your cervix (or mine, at least) is tender and stimulation can cause it to hurt rather than be pleasurable. Another thing I learned when figuring out how this works was if the opening of my cervix was very prominent, those are the times when I end up feeling pain rather than pleasure. But on days when my cervix is more closed, and I only feel a “slit” rather than a wider opening, then it’s a happy cervix day and that usually indicates it will be pleasurable.
It may even be a good idea to take note of your cervix’s position. I myself have what gynecologists refer to as a “tilted cervix". Whether or not my tilted organ has any relation to my ability to X-orgasm is beyond me.
How do you know it's not the A-spot?
I really enjoyed this article, Kendra - thanks! I'm looking forward to finding out if "X" marks the spot for me, too.
Ghalik, because it's the cervix being stimulated. The A-spot is close, but it's not the same thing as your cervix. You see, as I described a woman's cervix is noticeable. You can feel it, see it, touch it, rub it, etc. You've probably heard of people thrusting too far and hitting their cervix resulting in a bruise. You know when it's your cervix or not. There's a sensation when it's touched that no other part of the vagina feels like. Also, when you're touching the cervix with your fingers, experimenting, you take note of that sensation and later, using an object or partner's penis, you can identify it. The A-spot is an entirely different orgasm and sensation. It does not feel like a cervical orgasm, and the position/thrusting you use to stimulate the A-spot is not the same you do when stimulating the cervix. Also, the cervix is located all the way back, the A-spot is not at the very back. The cervix is not located on a wall in the vagina wheras the A-spot is, so it will be easy to tell once you've identified your body and experimented.
Amethyst Smoke! YAY! I am so glad and I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. I cannot wait to hear how it goes for you. I've been wishing you the best of luck all the way from over here for a couple weeks now.
Best of luck, and if you run into any trouble let me know. I might be able to share something that might end up coming in handy.
Thanks kendra. My A-spot is right by my cervix but I guess it's not for everyone. I'll have to experiement.
What an enlightening article, Kendra! Thanks for sharing this with everybody. When my partner's penis touched my cervix, I loved it, but talked myself into thinking it had to be the A-spot because I'd only heard that it hurts to have the cervix bumped during sex. But it's always been in the back of my mind & now, reading this & your response to ghalik's question, I'm interested in pursuing this! Thanks!
I found that having X-orgasms are most successful FOR ME during ovulation days. This usually lasts about 3 days. My partner has found that if he "massages" my cervix during this time it sets me off to experience multiple X-orgasms. The important thing is he's pretty long above average (as we found out when researching penis length) and he has amazing control. He has learned the best way to seat himself where his penis head aligns just right and then he doesn't thrust . . . he does this "motion of the ocean" thing with his body that causes the head to gently but firmly "massage" that special area.
We found this method when I was craping from ovulating and I was complaining about it and he suggested that he try to massage me from the inside. His focus was on relieving the pinching/achy feeling, so his intent was to rub and massage so he went very slow and put gentle pressure on areas by me guiding him with "that feels good", "that doesn't", "right there". He did his "motion/ocean" thing and it rubbed his head right on that spot and I was instantly wetter and incoherent, a few minutes later I was orgasming. It feels like a masseuse getting the achy kinks out of your neck. And we found that at that particular time of the month, if he keeps up the gentle massage I can keep cumming and cumming until the clenching of my vaginal muscles pulls his own orgasm out of him.
After we do a session like this, I and my ovaries feel so much better! I do have to take a good nap afterwards because it's quite exhausting.