However, I do believe in quid pro quo. That is, there must be a comparable, if not equal, exchange of goods or services, so to speak, in human sexual interactions.
Oral sex is an area in which I feel very strongly about this. If you want someone to go down on you with their mouth without complaint (and ideally, with gusto and desire), then you must be willing to do the same (I know some BSDM folks in particular might debate this; I'm talking more generally, though). Will you give oral as often or as gleefully as your partner? Maybe not. Or maybe more so.
And so, after that preamble, and with my previous article addressing women (Own Your Body—All Of It), I will now address my fellow men when I say: Real men eat pussy. They also kiss ass, but more on that later, because the pussy is the big thing.
I realize that I come at this from a different angle than a significant number of men do, in that I love giving cunnilingus. Adore it. I'm damn good at it, too (one of the few areas I will boast). I love the smell, I love the taste and I love the texture. Hell, I love the look of the pussy and the sounds it makes, too (as well as the sounds the woman makes from her throat while I'm licking and sucking), so it's really a complete sensory experience for me.
It's not that transcendent an activity for all men—perhaps not even most of them—but it need not be a chore. There's no reason to look at eating a woman out as being some unpleasant task. And even if you think it is, well...man the fuck up.
There, I said it.
Oral sex is an area in which I feel very strongly about this. If you want someone to go down on you with their mouth without complaint (and ideally, with gusto and desire), then you must be willing to do the same (I know some BSDM folks in particular might debate this; I'm talking more generally, though). Will you give oral as often or as gleefully as your partner? Maybe not. Or maybe more so.
And so, after that preamble, and with my previous article addressing women (Own Your Body—All Of It), I will now address my fellow men when I say: Real men eat pussy. They also kiss ass, but more on that later, because the pussy is the big thing.
I realize that I come at this from a different angle than a significant number of men do, in that I love giving cunnilingus. Adore it. I'm damn good at it, too (one of the few areas I will boast). I love the smell, I love the taste and I love the texture. Hell, I love the look of the pussy and the sounds it makes, too (as well as the sounds the woman makes from her throat while I'm licking and sucking), so it's really a complete sensory experience for me.
It's not that transcendent an activity for all men—perhaps not even most of them—but it need not be a chore. There's no reason to look at eating a woman out as being some unpleasant task. And even if you think it is, well...man the fuck up.
There, I said it.
Ha. I agree and I like the way you write; I find it entertainingly humorous (not haha at you funny but like attitude funny)
RIGHT ON!!!
That is one thing I can say I have never had issues with. My philosophy is 'if you can't eat it you damn sure don't need it'.
Always glad to bring a smile to people's faces...or a few dribbles of delicious cream...
I really wish I could explain this to my boyfriend. He loves blow jobs and I will do them even though I hate the taste. I've even swallowed for his enjoyment. For some reason he just won't return the favor even when I outright ask. (which btw makes me feel quite pathetic) I always shower, shave, and very thoroughly wash myself before we get intimate unless it's an unplanned quickie situation in which case doesn't usually involve much foreplay to begin with. Even when he is well aware that I did all the above things I still get nothing. I makes me pretty self conscious about myself.
Ugh. I hate to hear of any situation in which a partner makes the other partner feel less highly of themselves or self-conscious. Also not a big fan of hypocritical behavior, so I hope this guy has a whole lot of plusses in other categories to make up for these debits. Have you ever discussed with him how his approach/attitude makes you feel?
This article needs to be spammed all over the internet, and next time I hear about one of my buddies in a situation concerning this problem of inequality, I'm going to direct them here.
Also, that "going down" picture is hilarious in this context!
You're a really great writer. I love your style. You make a very good point, and I wish every man could read this article.
Thanks much. I do hope plenty of guys read this and rethink any bad attitudes they have about giving...especially if they are of the mindset that they should receive on a regular basis.
Sorry just seen your reply
He really isn't much of a giver in this area though, he used to be. We are each others firsts and only so we've had a lot of time to explore ourselves as well as each other. He gets discouraged when he can't make me orgasm (he never has in our 3 years of being sexually active) so he just doesn't try anymore. It's not that I can't climax with him just the only way was with me on top. Up until last week I wasn't ever able to bring myself to orgasm without a vibrator. I don't know how but it's getting easier for me. Either way, we have talked about it and I always assure him that even though it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't ever and besides, it still feels damn good! Kind of hard to get him to understand that it isn't all about the "finish line".
My wife has that problem with me sometimes, too. I don't come either because I withheld for the sake of not procreating or because my penis is being cranky. I assure her that it felt good and that she came and those were my main goals, but sometimes she sees me coming as being the "proof" I enjoyed myself. Often not the case, though.
All the best for both of you to find ways that work best for you individually and together as time goes on. Lord knows my wife and I have shifted gears and strategies a few times over our 17 years together.
I wish this article would have been written a few months ago when I was with my ex!!! I love all your points you made, my ex expected a blowjob every time we got intimate but I never got ate out. I think in the year we were together I got it maybe 2-3 times an it wasn't his best ever. We were together in prior years where he had no problem going down on me but when we got back together 2 years later he refused even if I begged!! I was always told NO I am not doing it but he would get pissed when I would tell him I wouldn't go down on him in that case. Luckily though I am now seeing man who would rather eat me all day long then penetrate me but I get it all (: Really great article an points!!
Now, there's an unfortunate change of heart (the ex, of course). Why would you give up something so nice?
love the article thankfully my guy loves going down, every single time we have sex, and he hardly ever wants me to return the favor, which I dont mind doing it he just doesnt really care too much about it
I love the title.
OMG I have no words. Okay, yes I do -- this is the most perfect article on the entire planet. Ahhh! Love it! Gosh, I was really sad to see comments from ladies saying their man absolutely refuses. Ugh. WTF? I hope they direct him here! Also, I'm glad to see one of them is without the man who refused but took instead. Kudos to a strong woman! As for me, I do not know what it would be like to have my partner NOT insist on doing it each and every single time. You know something though? After I read your article I thought "holy shit, I am going to have to tell him just how much I really do love it and appreciate that he loves doing it!" Lol. He often thinks I'll get tired of it, and I try to explain... that is something that NEVER gets old. Lol. Lovely article!
Let me start off by saying: There are few things better than a man that really enjoys (and is good at) licking pussy.
I love it.
Sadly, (the story you've heard before!) my man does not enjoy doing it! I love going down on him, I do it every time but he rarely returns the favor, and never without my begging him for it. If he does oblige me, he races through it like an inconvenience. It's really hard to enjoy when you know the other person doesn't like it.
What the heck is a girl to do?
Seriously, if a man is complaining about his tongue that is just ignorant of him. I'm a guy so I do realize that your tongue does get sore, but my god, its not for you, its for her, so do her this favor for her and let her enjoy it!
I think everyman should read this article. Well said!
LOVE LOVE LOVE this article. Now, if I could only remember those ex's e-mail addresses to pass this along...