"It's not at ALL the sucking, rubbing, loving on him...it's the finishing that gets me...every single time."
So, I've been with my Husband for many year, over 15 to be exact. Almost half our lives have been spent in a relationship with one another. The sex is, and always has been, great. And no, I'm not saying that to blow smoke up anyone's ass, I just don't understand the purpose of covering up sexual issues.
The poor guy has only been blown to completion once and I messed that up so badly, even *I'M* still mortified! I freaked when he said "I'm coming" and well, he wore it. Nervous, unsure of how to react and not overly thrilled with me, he kindly asked for a towel. I did, I DO, feel badly about it to this day, and it was seriously 14 years ago. One would think I would be over this, but it's a moment I never want to repeat, one I've never seemed to be able to forget, and one I use as a crutch to not "finish" him that way again. So, to say I don't blow him, isn't quite accurate, but I do NOT finish him.
Let me be honest. I've finished ONE person, ONE time. I swallowed. It wasn't horrific.
Why then, am I SO afraid to finish my husband, whom I'll do anything else with? Seriously, I'll try just about anything at least once! WHY am I afraid to suck it out of him! The man deserves to get a great blow job! I even pretended for years that I didn't care to receive oral, as my excuse for not giving it. Well, I've come to love oral (pun intended!) and I would love to have it more often, but I just don't feel right even suggesting it, when I won't finish him in exchange.
Look, I get it. It's not exchange. It's not "you do this for me and I do this for you", or, at least it shouldn't be the case most of the time. But, I really don't like accepting when I know I won't reciprocate.
Here's what I've decided. I'm going to blow my husband. One day soon, I am going to surprise him. I'll lead him on, I'll be all playful with myself, bring out the toys and then, I am going to rock his world with an oral encounter he won't soon forget. I want him to know, and understand the level of appreciation I have for him. Not only in terms of sex, but in terms of life, our lives together.
Why am I sharing this? Well, quite simply, I can't be the only person, especially the only wife, who doesn't give head. I can't be the only one who has every excuse in the book why NOT to do it, when even *I* crave it. I just can't be.
I WANT to feel him in my mouth, I want to watch as his body melts to the touch of tongue, the stroke of my hand. The response to every move I make, I want to be witness to it. I am excited to watch the responses, to hear and feel his body's response to my mouth and hands working to satisfy him.
I'll spare you all the details of this night, or, perhaps I won't? We'll see. I want to encourage you ALL to do something special for your partner. Don't over think it and make excuses like I have. Don't limit their pleasure, to protect your own selfish excuses. Just relax, let yourself go and LOVE giving them the time and attention they deserve. Life is SO short as it is and our time to openly and freely enjoy sex and sexual encounters is already so short, don't waste time fearing things, just do it.