Giving more the you receive. A man's perspective.

I had spent all evening at work. It was one of those nights. We have all had them. It was busy the whole time and just all round unpleasant. Well it seems my wife had a day that was similar at work as well. Both of us were just in a foul mood when I got home long after the sun had gone down, and things seemed as if they were not going to get better anytime soon. I sat down and eat dinner, she sat in front of the computer. Then it was off to take a shower together as we always do. The whole time not more than a dozen words were said by each of us. She had been up since early morning and was ready for bed. Me on the other hand my work shift had just ended and I had yet to have time to wind down and relax. It was going to be a long restless night for me, it seemed.

Well I decided to lay down in bed with her anyway and I tossed and turned for a while then finally sat up and decided I needed to do something. She hates it when she has to lay down to go to bed without me, so I made a choice. A choice I am sad to admit isn’t the normal thing I do. I decided I was going to put her first and find a way I could help her fall asleep and yet not involve me laying there trying to be uncomfortably still. I started by rubbing her feet. Well that can only last so long and she still hadn’t fallen asleep. Again I made the conscious choice to put her first. I moved on to rubbing her arm with my fingertips, something I have learned that help her fall asleep. Once again I began to grow impatient with my lack of success and grabbed the feather tickler to aid in this process of putting her to sleep.

Though my intentions were only to aid her in going to sleep I have to admit I enjoy using that thing on her. It is fun for me and helps her get to sleep. After a good, long period of this it hit me that this was not aiding her in going to sleep but sending her down a completely different path. To my surprise it was not long until I was handed a certain toy of hers to assist her in reaching that moment of climax. She had been satisfied and was finally ready for sleep.

The problem I was facing now was my own personal arousal with a lack of a final release. I laid there, looking off in the blackness of our unlit room wondering to myself how I ended up without having had the pleasure she had. Admittedly frustrated with how I had been bamboozled into this without getting anything out of it, I decided it was time to get up and go for a walk to cool off. This leads us back to where I started.

Once I was done with my walk I sat down in front of the computer less frustrated than I had started and just taking some time to think on things. That is when it all came full circle and dawned on me. It had not been one sided at all from the moment I decided to get up and rub her feet. Just as I started that she and I had begun to talk with each other for the first time tonight. We had broke through the tension of work and reached out to each other for comfort. As it progressed from that to the rubbing her arm, both our moods continued to improve. We were both smiling and happy now. It was an amazing reversal of our mood from before. It is surprising what a simple gesture can do for another. That simple gesture for them not only helps them, but it also helps you. You see the more I continued to give to her the more I felt better as well.

I can sit here and say that she is the one that derived pleasure from it, and that is true, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t get something back. Sure it may not have been a sexual climax like she had received, but it was pleasurable for me as well. More importantly for me is that I know I did something amazing for her that she will remember. It has opened my eyes and I am hoping to open a few others along the way. To both men and women out there reading this, I challenge all of you to make an effort to give more than you receive. You see that is what makes this concept more interesting. Show your loved one this article and challenge them to give more than they receive. Make a game out of it if that is what works best for you. In the past my wife has always been the one to give more than she received but I see that as likely to change in the future, or at least I will give it my best effort to make that happen.

If we all try and strive for this then everyone would see an improvement in their sex life on both sides. Not only that but I personally think that everyone would be happier. There are a million things we can do to make it better. This whole adventure or realization I had tonight has made me get to thinking. Men out there, how many of you have bought your girlfriend or wife flowers in the last month? I am sure there are some that are raising their hands right now, but I would be this isn’t out of the ordinary for them then. Spice it up a bit, make it a notch better and give more. Flowers are great but how about something a bit more romantic? Set out candles, get the message oils out, lay down rose petals leading back to the bed that is covered in them as well. Give the a great message. Then do the unthinkable: don’t try to have it lead into sex. Just pamper her for the night and let her decide what happens with no demands from you. Of course it doesn’t have to be a message, just something you wouldn’t normally do without expecting anything in return.

For our ladies out there, us men are much easier to please. Sex is always a good answer but we are used to that as well. Lets go beyond that, remember we are giving more than we receive here. Men’s minds always revolve around sex and every man is different just like every woman so we have to be creative here. Personally, my wife is shy about her sexual escapades. It could be something really simple for me to be surprised. I have bought her a few nice pieces of lingerie that have only seen once or twice. I would be ecstatic if I came home from a long day at work and there she was in all her glory, in a very revealing outfit waiting for me. That simple little thing that was so unexpected would truly be giving and I would have to find my next move to make it where I was the one giving more than receiving.

I could go on for hours writing this and give my thoughts and ideas on it, but I think you got my point. Think outside the box and keep it fun. Keep things interesting and make sure you are giving more than you are receiving and you will see an improvement in your relationship.