Why Domestic Submission?
A domestic submissive, which could also be called a house boy or girl, is a submissive who shows their role but performing chores around the house.
Chores can include anything from cleaning the house until its spotless, doing laundry, cooking meals, washing dishes, even rolling their Dominant’s cigarettes or learning the best way to serve them tea or coffee. A Dominant should always take the submissive’s abilities into account when assigning chores. A submissive who has asthma cannot be expect to bleach a bathroom just as a submissive who has never performed a day of manual labor might need guidance before they can be expected to paint a room.
When a submissive performs domestic chores they not only show their willingness to please but they can also see that these tasks are helpful to their Dominant. At the end of the task or day of them, they can develop a sense of accomplishment and pride in having made themselves useful.
Chores are easy for a Dominant to delegate but they also show trust in a submissive to perform a duty unsupervised. When looked at this way, a submissive can be proud to have the honor of completing these mundane tasks for their Dominant.
Domestic duties are also easy to measure whether or not a submissive has done their work and if it is satisfactory. It’s also something that usually doesn’t call for a great amount of training and could be a good way for the Dominant to see whether or not their submissive will truly enjoy belonging to and performing for their Dominant…or if they’re only interested in the fun part of the D/s relationship.
My Recommendations
Do your research. How does your Dominant like their house cleaned? Be specific.
Do they like their clothes laundered a certain way? Do the liked them ironed? Do you need to set certain things aside to take to dry cleaning?
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Where do they keep their cleaning supplies? Do they use name brand cleaners? Natural cleaners? Are they allergic to certain fragrances or products? Does bleach set off an asthma attack? Do they have enough of the designated cleaning products or will you need to buy more before you begin?
Also, have a to-do list before you start. Write it out yourself if your Dominant hasn’t deigned to give you one. Check with them about meals – Do they want breakfast in bed? Should you make coffee to go? Will they be eating lunch at home? Will you two be eating out for dinner? Will they be having guests? Do you need to cook? Will they want that special dessert that they love?
Never assume anything and only try the surprise your Dominant when you’re sure of the schedule and know them well enough to know what they like and how they like it.
Be detailed. Do they prefer certain scents over others? Does your Mistress love lavender? Does vanilla make your Dom gag? Are they allergic to artificial fragrances and prefer natural essential oils? Do they like incense or prefer oil burners? Do they like potpourri sachets in their drawers to make their clothes smell nice?
Do they have any special duties that want you to perform that day? Does your Master want you to schedule his hair cut appointment at his usual barber shop? Does your Domme want you to schedule a massage appointment or does she want her nails done? Can you do any of these things for them yourself? Should you have the car cleaned?
Are there any events that you need to plan around? Is it your Dom’s birthday? Should you decorate? Will the two of you be going out that evening? Will you be going to a play party or on a vanilla date? Do you need to schedule a babysitter? House-sitter? Dog/cat-sitter?
Feel more like a personal assistant and less like a submissive yet? Don’t. Remember, if you’re planning all this, you’re being trusted to perform these duties perfectly and unsupervised. Feel honored.
Start with laundry. While the clothes are washing, they don’t need to be attended so you can multi-task. Just be sure that you separate the clothes properly – most Dominants don’t want their formerly white socks dyed pink or blue by a misplaced shirt or towel. Also, be sure to read labels of certain clothes in how they are meant to be washed – don’t destroy your Dominant’s more delicately made, and presumably expensive, clothing by putting it a rough wash.
To men, and some women, who may not be aware – do not wash stockings in the washing machine. Let them soak in the sink then hang them to dry. Do not put bras in the dryer but hang them to dry to prevent the cups and wires from being disfigured.
As for cleaning the rest of the house, it’s sometimes best to start in the bathrooms or kitchen, where most of the work is normally needed to be done.
Clean areas that get the most use first such as sinks and counter tops. Move from there to places like mirrors, shelves and other surfaces that collect dust. Focus on the most difficult areas next such as toilets, bathtubs and ovens (you could be lucky and have a self-cleaning oven). Make sure porcelain is spotless even when the task might be unsavory. Take out any trash that you might have and, lastly, clean and mop the floor on your way out.
You might need to put clothes in the dryer at this point!
When it comes to cleaning play rooms, bedrooms and dungeons, you might only need to pick up from the night before, make the bed and other small tasks. Do not attempt to clean toys and dungeon furniture unless you already know how or have been trained to do so. Things such as leather, polished wood and fur all should be cleaned a certain way and some cleaners or ways of cleaning could damage the product.
Make Work Like Play
These chores can be made into fun play in a variety of ways. The submissive could do the chores nude or in costume. A maid’s costume, whether on a male or female submissive, is a common choice and many shops online and off carry a number of sexy maids costumes usually in the old French style. The submissive could also only wear an apron and no other garment while cooking, leaving their bottom bare and only just covering their chest and genitalia.
Another way of making domestic duties fun is to have the submissive wear or use certain toys. A butt plug can be worn as the submissive moves around the house and, if it is large enough or they are not used to this implement, they will always be aware of its being there as they move. A knotted dildo that is made of a soft silicone can also be used as a sort of vaginal plug. I do not recommend a hard or large dildo for this use as it can eventually hurt the submissive as they move around. Kegel balls or eggs can also be used for this purpose and will aid a female submissive in training her pelvic floor while doing her duties.
Also, as a submissive, you should perform the chores with a light heart. You should not dread the work. If you need to blast some music and dance around the house while vacuuming, then you should if that is what it takes to not focus on the fact that they hate vacuuming. That being said, a submissive should never annoy their Dominant with loud sounds or music if the Dominant is present.
Finishing Touches
After putting everything away, you should defer to your to-do list. If your Dominant expects dinner on the table by the time he or she returns home, then you should always be sure to have ample time available to prepare the meal.
The hour or so before your Dominant inspects your work is the time to put on finishing touches. Lighting incense or scented candles, putting fresh flowers in a pretty vase, setting the table for dinner, chilling or letting wine breath should all be done now.
A submissive should also be aware of their personal cleanliness. A shower or quick cleaning and grooming should be done before your Dominant comes to inspect you, if there is time (do not neglect finishing chores to clean yourself).
If your Dominant has trained you to greet them a certain way or to wait for their entrance in a specific manner, then you should do so. Some submissives are taught to wait on their Dominant kneeling or in a similar position. Other Dominants merely want their submissives to stand and wait silently.
You, if not already told, should ask your Dominant what they would like to see – does Sir like his little boy or girl nude and ready for personal inspection after checking the house for cleanliness? Should the puppy be in its kennel or kitten be curled up in its bed? A submissive should always consider how their Dominant would be pleased to see them.
A Job Well Done
If a Dominant has a list of chores to be completed and has requested they be done in a certain manner, it is the submissive’s duty to complete this list as wished. The Dominant should reward their submissive for a job well done, at least with words if not actions. If the submissive does not perform the assigned tasks as wished, they should be disciplined justly in order to keep boundaries set in place by the Dominant.
It is always good for you to know what the rewards and punishments are before starting a chore or task so that you have something to look forward to (and something to dread if you don’t perform the designated duties). Sometimes, having a say in your own reward or punishment makes both all the more vivid in your mind. In the end, however, it is always up to your Dominant to decide what is best for you.