Beginner BDSM On A Budget II

A simple gag will get you a long way. Telling a submissive that their thoughts aren't important is great for establishing respect. My favorite gags sell for fifty bucks and upwards. But I can give you some DIY tips on how to make a bit gag at home for cheap!

Materials -- PVC tape or a wide silk ribbon, leather Belt, one metal nail

Directions -- First off, you will want to hit up your local thrift store or dig through your old clothing and find a sturdy piece of leather. Clean it well with a damp cloth and make sure it tastes alright. That’s right, lick your old belt! If you don’t want it in your mouth, chances are, neither will your sub.

A lot of people buy fancy leather tooling kits, but for this purpose all you will need will be one nail. Choose a roofing nail or something a bit broader than, say, a thumbtack. Cut your leather into a strip about five inches long, this will be the piece that is bit down upon. Make sure that the strip extends past your cheek dimples but is not as long as the width of your face.(This will ensure comfort.) At the ends of your leather strip dig the nail down to make holes. The holes should be a little smaller than the hole required to stick a pinky finger through. These holes will be what you thread your PVC tape or even a piece of ribbon through.

I find that the tape is easier and recyclable, but I know most people love a gorgeous ribbon to create a sexy look. Make sure the ribbon is one that will slide out of a knot easily. A piece of ribbon you can untie will make it easier to take your gag off after play time. Once you have tied your ribbon or tape through the holes you will have a very simple bit gag.

Words of Caution -- This is a device that can not be sterilized. Do not use this with multiple partners unless they are aware of its history. Leather toys may be frowned down upon by vegans/vegetarians. Safe words will be difficult to hear, so utilize snaps or a bell.

Use -- Have your partner bite down on the leather and tie the sash ends high behind his or her ears. If tied too low, the gag will fall down around their neck, and no one wants that! Your finished product will look very similar to the Black Rose gags on the market today which sell for about twenty dollars.

Cost -- 3-7 dollars

Playing with Fire

Fire can be sexy. It is red, alive, hot and most of all dangerous! What are some fun ways to experiment with flame that are safe, easy and cheap, you may ask? Here are a couple of suggestions:

Fire Cupping

Materials -- Glass “cups”, cotton balls, alcohol solution 80% or higher, lighter

Use -- Fire Cupping was created as a way to balance humors, but now it is a fun way to incorporate pain into your play time. Be aware that the cups can bruise the applied areas. Gathering the materials for fire cupping may take a little while, but I would suggest going to your local thrift store. The cups used should be glass, fairly thick(so they don’t shatter with pressure) and narrow at the opening. They should be able to hold about two or more cups of liquid.

Once you have accumulated all the materials, it is a simple matter to get your partner to lie face down, allowing you to work. The pain this causes will be dull but will last a few minutes, so be prepared to listen for a safe word. I would suggest trying this on yourself before trying it on a partner. Respecting other people's limits is easier when you understand the pain they are undergoing.

Once a cotton ball is soaked in the alcohol solution, it can be lit. Place the lit ball inside the clean cup and place the mouth of the cup against your partner’s skin. Make sure to do this on a fat pad and not on their spine or any body parts that are not flat and clean. The hot air inside the cup will cool once the fire has gone out and the cool air will retract causing your partner’s skin to pull up inside of the cup(suction). It can be fun and safe to play with flame but I suggest always having a cup of water nearby to either cool your partner down or use to throw away anything that might have accidentally caught on fire.

Words of Caution -- Playing with fire is always dangerous. Be sure to be in an uncluttered space for this activity and only have six or less cups going at once in order to better monitor your submissive's mood.

Cost -- Less than 15 dollars

Wax Play

Materials -- Low, medium and high heat wax candles

Use -- Wax play utilizes the melted wax off of a candle to tease or torture a partner. This is a fun and fairly safe way to play with flames. If it is your first time, I would suggest buying an extremely cool wax. You can tell how hot a candle's wax will be by the amount of time it takes to melt. Before any wax play, make sure to drip a small amount of the wax from a distance onto the back of your hand to assess the heat and pain. Massage candles can be fun, and they are an exciting way to build up to wax play. However, BDSM wax play is a bit more dangerous and can hurt a little more than a massage candle will.

Directions -- Just about any store will carry candles. Make sure yours have body-safe ingredients, and that you and your partner(s) are not allergic. Most allergy stories I have heard had to do with the artificial scents placed into candles. Simple beeswax will burn hot and won’t inflame a lot of people that have allergies to synthetic ingredients or parabens. Once you have lit the candle, wait until a puddle about the size of a teaspoon builds up before using any wax. Never drip wax onto genitals or the face. I would stick with dripping onto your partner's back if this is your first time.

Cost -- About 10 Dollars

I don’t know if you have heard of these bad boys, but I bet that every hardcore BDSM player has a few of them in his or her toolbox. I also bet that your kindly old grandmother has a ton of them! That’s right, folks, clothes pins are the new nipple clamps. They also function as clit clamps, scrotum tuggers, breath play aids and laundry helpers. I bet you thought that these little guys were useless!

Directions -- First off, buy a bag of the handy devices or root through your laundry room. Go to a hardware store and buy a small amount of liquid latex. (This should be very cheap, and it could come in handy with other BDSM DIY projects.) A lot of people use the clothes pins without latex, but I find the rubbery feel to be sexy, sterile and a lot less apt to give off splinters. Open the jar of liquid latex, and open your clothes pins to dip them in the paint. Set them on a piece of plastic(usually plastic wrap) to dry and !Voila! instant BDSM aid. You can use these to clamp hard nipples, pinch anywhere on a vulva, grab a scrotum or even hang off an ear.

Use -- Clothes pins are available at almost every store and are extremely cheap compared to high end nipple clamps which could run you about thirty bucks. I love fancy clamps, but if you want something sturdy and cheap, these are going to become your new favorite toys. Remember, clothes pins are so cheap that if you loose a few during sex, it isn’t a big deal.

Words of Caution -- With clamps it is important to choose an area that receives a lot of blood flow. Don’t leave clamps on for extended time periods, and make sure to take breaks. After you take a clamp off, make sure to restore blood flow to the clamped area.(My favorite way to do this is with a slap.) This is as simple and cheap as it gets folks!

Cost -- Less than 5 dollars