The Basics
Now, if you're a complete beginner, then I'd like to welcome you to the world of anal. Welcome! Anal sex (and anal play) is something that many people find pleasurable, myself included, but it's also a world that many people avoid. They avoid it in fear of pain, in fear of messes, in fear of the inevitable toy getting stuck inside your hole...and that's okay. When it's something that you don't know, something that you've had no experience in whatsoever...you can have a lot of fears, a lot of doubts, and a lot of worries. It's fine, and I understand. But(t)! Anal sex/play isn't something that you need to be in the dark about. It's a lot of fun, and I think that everyone can find their place in the world of everything butt.
Again, if you're a complete beginner, then you might be wondering: what exactly is anal? Well, anal is…a lot of things. Some people define anal as only anal sex, meaning a penis, dildo, or other penetrator enters the anus. Others define it as anything to do with "anal play," meaning toys, butt plugs, stretching…the list goes on and on. Whatever your personal definition of "anal" may be, there will be other people who have similar ideas to you. Anal is a large and vast world, with many people who enjoy it and lots and lots of toys.
So…why do people like it? For people who have a prostate, having anal sex or using toys can stimulate the prostate, and a lot of people find that pleasurable. Even if you don't have a prostate, you can still find it pleasurable. Some people enjoy the depth (because you can go much deeper anally rather than vaginally), some people enjoy the feeling of being full, and some people enjoy the stretching feeling. For people who have a vagina, having anal sex can even stimulate the vagina and clitoris internally, which gives them even more pleasure.
And, finally, why are people afraid of it? There are a number of reasons that people may be afraid of anal. They're afraid of it hurting, they're afraid of something tearing, or they're afraid of the mess. Anal sex doesn't have to hurt, and in most cases, injuries don't occur with proper preparation and care. And, of course…messes happen. A lot of things happen in the anus, and you shouldn't be embarrassed about any mess that happens (I'll discuss how to avoid messes in another section). But, don't let any of these things steer you away from the pleasure that you may receive from anal! I will discuss each of these topics in other sections so that you may get a better idea and possibly ease your worries.
Plugs
Let’s move on to plugs! Anal plugs are, as you can imagine, a plug-shaped toy that goes into your butt. Some plugs are designed to press up against the prostate, some plugs are meant to reach [italics|deeper], some plugs are meant to stretch those rectal muscles, and some can even vibrate. There are probably millions of butt plugs that someone can choose from, and they’re all unique. Butt plugs can be used to prepare for anal sex, but some people wear them for stimulation or the feeling of fullness. For people with vaginas, wearing a butt plug can even narrow the vaginal canal and give more pleasure and the feeling of being “tight” during vaginal sex. Butt plugs are universal, and anyone with any type of body can use them.
Even though they’re universal, that doesn’t mean that all butt plugs are created equal. Butt plugs come in an array of sizes, colors, and designs, but they should all have one thing in common - safety. There are three parts of a butt plug - the base, or the part that is visible externally; the neck, or the thinner part that is connected to the base and the wider part of the toy; and the “plug” itself, which is the (usually) egg-shaped end. Some plugs are shaped differently, with the whole toy being tapered with a wide flared base. Other toys may have a more extreme difference between the neck and plug. Some toys have a loop instead of a base for easier removal. The only important thing that a plug should have is a sizeable difference from the base to the neck. Not enough size difference between the base and the neck allows for the toy to accidentally go inside, which can cause problems. While this is a rare occurrence and can usually be resolved quickly when it happens, it’s still something to look out for.
What butt plugs are suitable for use, though, given that there are so many? Toys like the Flower Butt Plug from EdenFantasys provide a large base and larger neck. The larger base allows the plug to not go inside of your body fully, and the larger neck allows for easier removal. Another toy, the Vibro plug from EdenFantasys is another that I would recommend for the base shape. The shape of the base is wider and thinner, much different from the typical circle shape. This oval shape allows the base to be more comfortable in between your cheeks, allowing for long-term usage. Toys such as Booty Toy from EdenFantasys and Backend Starter - the problem with Booty Toy is that the loop on the end isn’t firm at all. It has actually gone fully inside of me before. There wasn’t an emergency, but there wasn’t anything that kept the loop from going inside. The issue with the Backend Starter is that the base isn’t wide enough nor structured enough for it to not go inside. These issues shouldn’t deter you from trying these should you be so inclined, but please be aware of them so you can properly use them. As for materials, anything that is premium or platinum silicone, metal, or glass is suitable. Anything else risks harboring bacteria and smells, and we can all imagine a toy that smells unpleasant and how that smell can spread to other toys.
And, as I’m sure you might be wondering…should you use lube? There are a bunch of different opinions about it, but in my personal opinion, you don’t need it. For me, spit works just fine for most plugs. However, if you’re new to plugs, the more lube, the better! You can put a drop of lube on your hole and then another drop on the plug, and then you’ll be fine. In the world of sex, there’s no such thing as too much lube. If it makes you comfortable and the experience more pleasurable, then, by all means, do it!
The final thing that I’d like to talk about concerning butt plugs is long-term use. A lot of people (myself included) wear butt plugs for long periods of time - I’ve seen on an old internet forum that a man wore one for almost a year straight. While I can’t give any advice on a year’s usage, I can give a little bit of advice on a couple of hours and even days. First off: this is not for beginners. Wearing something in your butt for multiple hours a day is something you should work up towards; not something that you should do immediately after getting your first butt plug. There are a lot of articles that I have found concerning the usage of butt plugs for overnight and longer, and almost all of them say that you shouldn’t do this. However, I disagree. My advice is not professional: it simply comes from experience, not from research and intense knowledge of the human body learned from education. I think that wearing a butt plug for long periods of time (as long as you know the safety behind it!) can be quite pleasurable and a lot of fun. Obviously, if you’re wearing a butt plug for long periods of time, you should take it out when you’re going to the bathroom, take it out when you need breaks (make sure they’re often!) and when you clean it, and reapply lube if needed.
Enemas
Enter enemas: a perfect tool for making sure that you’re all cleaned out for anal. Our digestive tract is usually good at keeping everything high up until it needs to come out, but that’s not always the case. Diet is a great factor in this, and it varies from person to person. In come, enemas! The term “enema” usually refers to the act of using water to clean out your rectum and parts of the colon. There are a bunch of different types of enemas, from Fleet brand enemas to bulbs to douches to bags. No matter which brand you choose, it’s important to know exactly how to do it. Using warm water (a little bit less than feeling physically warm to the touch), you should fill up your rectum (using the enema of your choice) until you feel pressure. Hold the water inside you and let it do its job for a minute or two. Squat and release the water. For most people, this will be enough for some casual anal play. If you want to get extra clean, though, fill up your rectum, wait, squat, and release the water until it runs clear. For some people, this may take three passes, and others may need more. No matter the situation, passing until the water runs clear is usually more than enough to be fully clean and mess-free.
Lube
Lube! Lube is such a good thing! Lube can and should be used for any type of anal play. The more lube, the better! There are a million and one types of lube: the most popular ones are water-based, silicone-based, oil-based, and plant-based. Of course, if your toy is made of silicone, then you shouldn’t use silicone-based lube because it will degrade. Personally, I recommend water-based to everyone because it feels great, washes off things easily, and it’s compatible with every type of toy. If you’re going to use condoms (latex-based or otherwise), then you shouldn’t use oil-based lubes because the oil will degrade the condom. This is usually a concern for vaginal sex as a torn condom can possibly result in pregnancy, but a torn condom, when used anally, can result in a mess or possible STIs. Should you use a condom, always be safe!
Stretching
We’ve reached the end of the proverbial tunnel! The final thing that I’d like to discuss is further stretching. Some people may enjoy anal sex with things as big as the average penis, some people may enjoy a finger or plug, but there are also people who want to go bigger, stretching their hole to the limits and beyond. The toys that have been created for this are few and far between, but there are many brands that have capitalized on the number of people who want to stretch their holes. Take Square Peg Toys, for example, who’s been in the business since 1997. They have toys and plugs in a variety of sizes and lengths. Take the Slink, where the longest toy is 24.5”. That’s two feet of toy! Another comparable toy is their Depth Probe, which focuses on the depth portion of anal versus the stretch. Their longest toy is 38”. Which is over three feet…imagine having that inside of you! Another toy company that specializes in large toys is Bad Dragon, although their main focus is toys that are going to stretch you out, not toys meant for depth play like Square Peg.