Me and my girl have been playing with CBT for a couple of years now, and although I am typically a Dom, I happily top from the bottom when it comes to penis play. And it isn’t really about BDSM (or pain, or humiliation) for us, but since there are a lot of sensitive things involved - like your sack and your trust - there are some BDSM rules that apply and that I feel I have to share.
To ensure a positive and empowering experience, here are three crucial SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) principles to remember before engaging in CBT and penis play.
When engaging in CBT, safety and consent must be at the forefront. Establishing clear boundaries and communicating openly with your partner(s) is crucial. Consent should be enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing throughout the experience. Discuss the specific activities you wish to explore and establish limits ensuring everyone feels safe and comfortable. I know I keep saying this does not necessarily has to be a BDSM scene - and it doesn’t - but it’s on the edge. Plus, you might be into some more hardcore things, so SSC rules are a must.
To enhance safety during penis play, the use of specialized
sex toys for men can be considered. For example, the use of slip-on metal cock rings or adjustable ball stretchers can provide pleasurable sensations while still maintaining safety. You can do your
penis play toys research here. I recommend starting with something mild, like a silicone cock cage or even better, a specialized ballsack toy, just to get acquainted with the sensation. Ensure that any sex toys used are of high quality, body-safe materials, and properly cleaned and sanitized before and after each use.
Before engaging in CBT or Penis Play, it's important to educate yourself about the techniques, tools, and potential risks involved. Understand the anatomy of the male genitalia, as well as the potential physical and emotional responses during play. Research reputable sources of information, consult educational resources or seek guidance from experts in the field, such as certified sex educators or experienced practitioners. PLEASE don’t pressure or pinch things for longer than 2-3 minutes at time, no matter how intense you want it to be.
When exploring CBT and penis play, it can be helpful to establish a safe word or signal with your partner(s). This word or signal acts as a clear indicator that the activity needs to pause or stop immediately. Choose a word that is easy to remember and unlikely to be misunderstood in the heat of the moment. The safe word allows for effective communication and ensures that all participants can express their comfort levels and boundaries without hesitation. My personal tip - don’t use things like “yes,” “no,” and “stop”. Some exclamations can be almost involuntary, or you can be so wrapped up in the moment that you saying “stop” becomes a part of the begging game. Pick an obscure word, like “Cerberus,” and make sure you and your partner both remember it well.
Maintaining open and ongoing communication is paramount throughout the entire CBT experience. Regularly check in with your partner(s) to ensure their comfort, well-being, and satisfaction. Encourage them to express their needs, desires, and any concerns that may arise during the play session. Be attentive to non-verbal cues and establish a sense of trust where everyone feels comfortable speaking up if something doesn't feel right.
Aftercare is an essential part of penis play. Again, even though it may not be BDSM per se, it is a very intense sensual, and psychological experience for you as a couple. It involves providing support, reassurance, and comfort to your partner(s) after the session. Aftercare can include gentle physical touch, cuddling, offering words of affirmation, or simply being present and attentive to their emotional needs. The goal is to create a nurturing environment where participants can process their experiences and feel supported and cared for. Some soothing massage - or even blowjob, I don’t know - can be a fine way to unwind.
Engaging in Cock and Ball Torture (CBT) and penis play can be a fulfilling and intimate experience when guided by the principles of safety, consent, and communication. Prioritize open conversations about boundaries, consent, and desires. Educate yourself about techniques, risks, and proper toy usage. Establish a safe word or signal to ensure effective communication during play. Finally, remember to engage in aftercare to provide support and reassurance to your partner(s) after the session. If you're interested in a more personal POV, here's my article describing
my emotional journey with penis play. By embracing these SSC principles, you can create a space for exploration and growth while ensuring the well-being and enjoyment of all participants involved. It seems easy, and obvious, but these are the things that make your penis play perfect.
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