Ladies and gentlemen, please do not put your bodily fluids in food you are giving to complete strangers. You would think this would go without saying, but alas, it seems it does not.
A grocery store worker named Anthony Garcia, 32, was arrested for allegedly putting his semen in a sample cup of yogurt and offering it to a customer at Sunflower Market in Albuquerque, N.M. U.S. Attorney Kenneth J. Gonzales says Garcia admitted to putting semen in the cup, and the prosecutors have DNA evidence gathered from the store's floor where the woman says she spit several times and her garment where she wiped her mouth.
Garcia pleaded guilty to charges of adulterating food and making false statements to federal investigators, which we can only assume means he originally lied about his alleged involvement in the act. Sentencing has yet to be scheduled but Garcia faces three years prison time and three years probation.
“The criminal conduct to which Anthony Garcia pleaded guilty today is completely outrageous,” Gonzales told The Associated Press after Garcia's appearance in federal court. “No one should have to endure this type of experience simply because she or he accepts a food sample while shopping for groceries.”
Which brings us back to the moral of the story. Just in case you haven't caught on yet, despite us stopping just short of pointing it out with big, neon, flashing arrows, here it is: Non-consensually feeding someone your bodily fluids equals BAD and results in (the possibility of?) prison time. Learn it. Know it. Live it.