At the height of Weinergate, mobile phone overages were at an all-time low as serial sexters of the visual variety went into hiding. Billing departments scratched their heads and technicians marveled at how towers that had been lighting up just 48 hours prior to the shamed politician’s come-clean press conference went comparatively dark.
Husbands and wives, girlfriends and boyfriends nationwide made fewer trips to the restroom during date night than usual. They cuddled more on movie night. Curiously, they also became less likely to volunteer to pick up the kids or head to 7-11 for that one thing on the shopping list their partners forgot. And miraculously, a couple of days later, when the story dropped off the media radar, cellular activity ticked back up to pre-scandal norms as guilt and fear levels dropped.
Okay, fine. I made all that up. Every word.
But some of you believed me. Maybe you even scrolled to look for a graph. Not because you’re that gullible, but because let’s face it: it sounds believable. Why? Because each astonishing technical advancement in human communications – from still camera to video, from Internet to cell phone – has proven that if people can use it for porn, they will.
It took a long time for most women to come clean about enjoying dirty literature, let alone straight-up hardcore, but nowadays it’s not difficult to find female sources of all ages for a story about adult material. It wasn’t even hard to find women ready to speak about getting penis pictures on their cell phones – as long as I stuck with the 30-and-under demographic – but I dug deep (and begged a little) and they relented. Finding men who’d done it, by the way, was easier, right across age lines. Willing sources ranged from 29 to 52.
Show Me the Money-Shot
Scarlett, 26, isn’t shy about it. “I like the cock shots,” she says, “from men I’m seeing, of course, and have that sort of relationship with. It’s fun to flirt via text.”
She admits she prefers a tease over an outright closeup, though. “Penises are kind of funny looking, love them or not,” she giggles, “but you know, a hard-on through the boxer briefs, well shot? It’s sexy! I actually thought that first one of Weiner was pretty hot. I wouldn’t have minded getting something like that from a boyfriend.”
Sari, 30, sends hot phone pictures to her considerably older, married boyfriend on a fairly regular basis. “He loves getting them, and I love sending them.” The very act of taking them, knowing he’ll enjoy them or is waiting for one, turns her on. Sometimes he even makes specific requests. “In fact, I was amazed at how beautifully I could shoot my girl parts when I upgraded to a phone with a five-megapixel camera.”
He texts her back from business meetings and lunches, letting her know how hot she’s getting him. “And hard,” she adds. Does he send her the evidence? She laughs.
“Ew, no,” she says flatly. “That’s a one-way street. It’s way sexier sending those than getting one. I never thought about it before, because that’s not his style, but I’d probably be a little skeeved if he did.”
“Skeevy?!” exclaims Patti, 50. She thinks about it for a minute. “I guess it sort of is, but I mean – does it have to be all ‘rose petals leading to the master bedroom’ all the time? I’ve been married to the same man for 20 years. I want to be surprised now and then.”
About a year ago, her jaw dropped to the floor when she received a text from her husband at work. “I opened it and there was this close up of a massive erection!” She panicked, nearly dropping the phone, and closed her office door.
“First I thought I’d been hacked. Then I thought it was some weird spam picture.” It took her several red-faced minutes for her to even conceive that it was actually her husband’s penis. “And then, after I stared at it and was sure it was him, I freaked out because I was sure he’d meant to send it to someone else!”
After extensive explanation, she realized that it had, in fact, been his way of being playful, and yes – shocking. “And we ended up having some pretty hot sex later on.”
The photos are few and far between, she says, but it’s opened up a new path to arousal for them both via sexting. “We both have really busy jobs and stuff to deal with at home, so it’s not like we’re in high school, sending dirty messages all day long.” They message one another, with pics or without, a couple of times a week.” There’s a limit, though,” she says. “This man is the father of my children, not some guy I met on the Internet.”
Russell, 40, is gay. He doesn’t think gay men are as anti-dick pic as most straight women, “But I also believe it’s a lifestyle thing. I don’t think my more monogamous gay, male friends would enjoy them as much as I do. I have quite a bit of casual sex.
“In the right instance, getting one of those from someone I’m seeing, like say I’m out with friends on a Friday and he’s home and hard and sends me a snap? If I have nothing else going on that night, it might get me calling for the check and a taxi!”
She Didn’t Ask? Don’t Tell
Remember that old “Seinfeld” episode? Elaine goes on a date with a friend of Jerry’s. She likes him. They have a nice time. And as the evening comes to a close in his car, amid pleasant banter and what approaches a good-night kiss, he “takes it out.”
It’s more or less equally off-putting via digital message.
“Yes, I have gotten that sort of picture before – though only once to my cell. The rest were in emails,” says Lauren, 42. She is divorced and dates actively. “They came from men I’d been talking with online through a dating site. I have to say, the first time it was pretty shocking, as it was entirely unsolicited.” She immediately cut off communication.
“Alright, so he turned out to be a perv. It happens. My friends and I joked about it like, ‘Who does that?!’ But the crazy thing is that this happened two years ago and since then, five other guys have done the exact same thing! They seemed normal up to then, and I had barely discussed sexual things with any of them. Some not at all!”
Earl, 38 and married, has taken a cell phone picture of his semi-erect penis once. That’s it. He says the post-Weiner fallout made an untouchable topic appropriate for roughly two minutes – a time span in which he gleaned that dick shots are neither hot nor a good idea. “The message I got was to save the space on my memory card for pictures of my kid at the aquarium,” he says, chuckling. “Don’t take a picture of it. Bring it to the bedroom, where it can be put to good use.”