I don’t even have a title for this. That’s how disturbing it is. « Satire

I don’t even have a title for this. That’s how disturbing it is.

So, I get a lot of weird stuff emailed to me and that’s kind of to be expected. I mean, I get it. I write a sex column about clown porn and vagina robots. Of course I’m the first girl that strangers think of when they find something totally fucked up on the internet and they have to share it but know they’ll be judged if they send it to anyone they know in real life. People realize that I’m non-judgmental and unoffendable and always looking for a good angle on a new article and truly? I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart. That being said, why the fuck did twenty-three separate people send me this jpg yesterday?

I thought of you when I saw this

And even more disturbingly, nineteen of the twenty-three people who sent this said something to the effect of “I thought of you when I saw this”.

The other four just sent the picture with no explanation whatsoever. Which is kind of even more disturbing. Y’all, this is exactly the kind of shit that needs an explanation.

I don’t even know what to do with this. Am I supposed to answer it? Share it? Agree with it? All I can do is shake my head with wonder. And not the good kind of wonder. The bad kind of wonder. Like, “I wonder what that lump is”. Or “I wonder how I got to the point that 23 strangers sent me squid masturbation material”.

Which is not to say I don’t appreciate you sending me photos of squid masturbation questions. Because I do. Okay, not really but…but I appreciate the thought. Or possibly not. I’m just going to stop talking now except to say, “Yes. I got the squid masturbation question picture thingy. You can stop now”.

Update: Okay, I just got another email about this and this post doesn’t publish for another two days. This is going to be a long week.

Discussion	Last Post	Category
related articles [4]	Nov.29, 2011	Vibrators

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	iwantyouwantingme Even Im speechless...	02/11/2012
	Teacookie Half Baked Squid sex life......... he needs to find a chick with a tentical fetish and live happily ever after. Also he has now been added to the governments ambasidor's list for Aliens from space with a specility of course.	05/06/2012
	PeaceToTheMiddleEast Teacookie I was thinking the same thing. They have chicks who like that kind of thing too.	05/09/2012

I don’t even have a title for this. That’s how disturbing it is.

I don’t even have a title for this. That’s how disturbing it is.

I thought of you when I saw this

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