Humor » Satire; Body » Vagina: "Warning: Some penises are actually a combination of penises and testicles. I call them “Penisticles”."
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Warning: Some penises are actually a combination of penises and testicles. I call them “Penisticles”.

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Today's Bloggess column is brought to you by the word...“Penisticle.”

  The conversation

Me: So guys are going around just shaving their balls to fool girls into thinking they have a huge penis?

Kevin: Pretty much.

Me: So…it’s like your balls have a tiny goatee?

Kevin: Uh…kind of. Or you just shave it all off and make it look like one giant penis.

Me: So if I shaved my coochie it would look like I had a giant vagina?

Kevin: Of course not. It doesn’t work like that.

Me: Well that seems like a double standard.

Kevin: Why would you even want a giant vagina?

Me: I wouldn’t. I just want to be able to have the choice.

Kevin: It’s just an optical illusion. Basically it makes your balls look like they’re part of your penis so it looks longer.

Me: But then you look like you have tiny balls.

Kevin: Yes, but girls don’t care about what your balls look like.

Me: That you know of. Maybe they do.

Kevin: Do they?

Me: Ew, God no! But still, it feels like cheating. I mean, she’s going to realize she’s been short-changed when you start having sex, right? Unless…you stuff your testicles in the vagina?

Kevin: What? You can’t stuff testicles into a vagina.

Me: Well you can if it’s a GIANT vagina.

Kevin: This is why people don’t talk to you.

Me: Whatever. At least I have an honest vagina.

Comments

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Contributor: bellavive
bellavive  

I LOVE YOU. So much. My vagina is crying with laughter. It is also honest.

04/20/2010
Contributor: Illusional

LOL, I would SO talk to you. This is hilarious stuff.

10/14/2010
Contributor: The Nakanas

That's hilarious!

10/17/2010
Contributor: RosesThorns

omg...thats funny as all hell...

12/28/2010
Contributor: naughty&nice
naughty&nice  

I would not only talk to you...I'd turn you into a weekly sitcom.

02/11/2011
Contributor: Fullbeauty

Honest Vaginas for the win!!!

05/11/2011
Contributor: iwantyouwantingme

I think he is one of the ones who shaves his balls, and thats why he was upset

02/11/2012

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