Whenever I feel stumped about what to write about, I go over to Cosmo and use one of their topics for inspiration. This month they did an article on “Ten Ways to Tell He’s Not Into You,” and it was all stuff like: “His feet face a different direction than yours.” Personally, I think that’s a bit vague, so I came up with my own list.
Ten Ways to Tell He’s Not Into You:
1. He isn’t actually aware that you’re dating him.
2. He’s never conscious when you have sex.
3. He never remembers your birthday because he’s too busy pretending to be in love with his wife of 20 years.
4. He only exists in your mind/teenage vampire books.
5. His pet name for you is “that crazy bitch.”
6. He confuses your “spontaneous romantic surprises” with “breaking and entering.”
7. He didn’t even try the rabbit soup you made him.
8. He’s creeped out by your collection of his hair and nail clippings.
9. He didn’t understand that when you said that you loved him so much that you wanted to wear a suit made out of his skin you meant it as a compliment and not a “threat.”
10. He spelled your name wrong on the restraining order.
Ten Ways to Tell He’s Not Into You:
1. He isn’t actually aware that you’re dating him.
2. He’s never conscious when you have sex.
3. He never remembers your birthday because he’s too busy pretending to be in love with his wife of 20 years.
4. He only exists in your mind/teenage vampire books.
5. His pet name for you is “that crazy bitch.”
6. He confuses your “spontaneous romantic surprises” with “breaking and entering.”
7. He didn’t even try the rabbit soup you made him.
8. He’s creeped out by your collection of his hair and nail clippings.
9. He didn’t understand that when you said that you loved him so much that you wanted to wear a suit made out of his skin you meant it as a compliment and not a “threat.”
10. He spelled your name wrong on the restraining order.
The sad thing is that some of this has happened to me. I actually dated a guy who never introduced me as anything but a friend until we were done dating and then he introduced me as his "ex-girlfriend". Screwed on so many different levels. You have a great sense of humor!
I dated that woman! Have you been following me again? I said cut it out!
LOL!!..You know its funny you posted this article. I was actually at another Cosmo list ( 7 reasons he won't marry you ) and I almost did a post on that. I love Cosmopolitan!
Thanks for the laugh.
Awesome. Simply awesome!
LOL.. thats great!
i loved this
I use this same method, but I use Men's Health. And it's always about muscles. By the way, if a guy stops flexing for you, he's not that into you. I've been getting Men's Health free for many years. No idea why.
Your boobs look fabulous! I'm just saying........
All I see is a nice rack. Wasn't there supposed to be an article here?
Is it weird that this made me think of you? [https://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-the-20-weirdest-things-weve-heard-in-bed/]
Okay, seriously, we all read your boobs first, then the list.
I do agree with the list, but would prefer to see more boob, Blogess. More boob. (and by that I do NOT mean ME).
LOL - hilarious.
So I have to say I hate dating rules. What makes one go from friend-dating someone- seeing someone- involved with someone- girlfriend/boyfriend. I don't understand the progression and how the titles form. Life shouldnt be so complicated, what happen to the days where a boy pushes you down in the dirt says you smell, makes you cry, then asks you to be his girlfriend. It was so much easier back then.