1. Carrot condom. Because your vegetables can never be too safe.

2. Revenge of the Gangbang Zombies. (For what it’s worth? I would totally pay money to see this.)

3. And so she made a giant anatomically-correct sock monkey. Because everyone needs to have a hobby.

4. Possibly the best headline ever: “The terrible semen story that’s on everyone’s lips.”

5. “Pipe Bomb Dildo Revenge” I take it back. That’s is the best headline ever.

6. It’s a piñata. It’s a uterus. It’s BOTH!

7. Where can I buy the soundtrack to this movie?

8. Honestly, I don’t even know how to take one anal breath.

9. Bad Sex Ed. So bad it’s awesome.

10. The Homer Simpson Sex Tape. I was not expecting that.