This week I’m taking a slight break from poking fun at human sexuality, and instead I’m focusing on sexuality in the animal world. It’s way more fucked up than you could ever possibly imagine.
Remember a few years ago when all the animation companies started doing films about bugs who all had unique traits and who each had something to teach us about life? A Bug’s Life, The Ant Bully, Bee Movie…they all showcased a plethora of fascinating and adorable insects.
But they left out one.
This is the Micronecta scholtzi, a tiny underwater bug that was recently named the “World’s Loudest Animal.” It makes incredibly loud music with his organ. And by “organ” I mean “penis.”
I’m not exactly sure how Pixar missed this amazing bug, whose “singing penis” belts out music at 99.2 decibels (I don’t even know what part of that last sentence to italicize).
Technically, the bug doesn’t really “sing.” Instead it just makes music by rubbing its penis against its abdomen in a process known as “stridulation.” Also, I’m more than a little concerned that there are so many penis cellos in the animal world that they actually have a name for the process.
What’s quite fascinating to me is that the noise from one tiny penis is the equivalent of listening to a loud orchestra play while sitting in the front row, and if it wasn’t done underwater the noise could deafen us. So if these bugs finally adapt to having above-water singing penises we are all fucked. Plus, even underwater they’re still loud enough to be heard with the human ear. So whenever you’re having a romantic walk at night as you listen to the sounds of the cicadas and crickets, you’re probably also listening to the whimsical melodies of a bug rubbing his dick against his chest. I can’t believe Disney passed on this.
PS. There’s also a moth that uses its genitals to produce ultrasonic signals, and a lot of those cuddly koalas at the zoo probably have Chlamydia.
Mother Nature is way more kinky than you’d ever expect.
Remember a few years ago when all the animation companies started doing films about bugs who all had unique traits and who each had something to teach us about life? A Bug’s Life, The Ant Bully, Bee Movie…they all showcased a plethora of fascinating and adorable insects.
But they left out one.
This is the Micronecta scholtzi, a tiny underwater bug that was recently named the “World’s Loudest Animal.” It makes incredibly loud music with his organ. And by “organ” I mean “penis.”
I’m not exactly sure how Pixar missed this amazing bug, whose “singing penis” belts out music at 99.2 decibels (I don’t even know what part of that last sentence to italicize).
Technically, the bug doesn’t really “sing.” Instead it just makes music by rubbing its penis against its abdomen in a process known as “stridulation.” Also, I’m more than a little concerned that there are so many penis cellos in the animal world that they actually have a name for the process.
What’s quite fascinating to me is that the noise from one tiny penis is the equivalent of listening to a loud orchestra play while sitting in the front row, and if it wasn’t done underwater the noise could deafen us. So if these bugs finally adapt to having above-water singing penises we are all fucked. Plus, even underwater they’re still loud enough to be heard with the human ear. So whenever you’re having a romantic walk at night as you listen to the sounds of the cicadas and crickets, you’re probably also listening to the whimsical melodies of a bug rubbing his dick against his chest. I can’t believe Disney passed on this.
PS. There’s also a moth that uses its genitals to produce ultrasonic signals, and a lot of those cuddly koalas at the zoo probably have Chlamydia.
Mother Nature is way more kinky than you’d ever expect.
Actually, stridulation refers to any two objects which are rubbed together to make noise. Crickets use stridulation to chirp and no sexual organs are involved.
I've been known to make noise when my penis is rubbed but not THAT much. (The neighbors would probably complain, maybe because they'd be jealous.)
Haha, what a wonderful world!
I think it was Einstien that said "God has a sense of humor." and this is a perfect example. I believe he also said something to the effect that the world is not only stranger than we believe, it is stranger that we can believe.
I love this!! Retweeting now!
This scares me and I'm not sure why.
Do you have an MP3 sound clip of that to post?
I'm just all made up about you correctly used the term 'bug' to describe the order Hemiptera! You wouldn't /believe/ how many people get the terminology wrong! Cudos!
thats funny and weird
hmmm a singing penis. Yeah thats about it, my head hasnt gotten past that point yet...
Chlamydophila pneumoniae is the bacteria that's affecting koalas. Chlamydia trachomatis is the sexually transmitted human pathogen. Not the same bug.
I think some insects are interesting when it comes to mating myself. I love the black widow she fucks her mate then eats him...