I pulled the Waterproof Gyro G-Spot out of its package, reading the packaging as I went. "Soft pliable shaft,” my ass. The thing is made out of very thin, VERY hard plastic. The plastic is pliable only because it is so thin, which means it will break very easily.

Noting that the vibrator took two C-sized batteries, I rummaged around to find my package of C batteries. I twisted off the bottom of the vibrator, pushed both batteries in, recapped it, and gave it a test run before I began to use it.

Wow! This thing is by far the most powerful vibrator I have ever come face to face with. Of course, because the vibrating part is encased in hard plastic, it sounded like I was doing some weed whacking in my bedroom. It felt like it had enough power to be a weed whacker, as well.

Rather than fill me with waves of pleasure and delight by looking at it, I felt a few tremors of fear as to what this thing might do to me. I pulled out my bottle of Wet Premium Body Glide and coated the body of the Gyro G-Spot with a good layer of lube. Lying down on my back, I spread my legs and readied the vibrator.
As I started to gently push it in, I felt quite a bit of discomfort from the “sensuous curved tip” and the hard plastic nubs rubbing roughly against everything inside. Eventually, I got the Gyro G-Spot in about an inch and a half, and found it could not possibly go in any further without bringing me an unbearable amount of pain. I turned it on, leaving it on the gentlest setting for a minute. As I was going to readjust it, the vibrator suddenly jumped to the highest setting of vibrations. And would not stop. My hand had not been near the little knob at the base at all.

I twisted the base off so that the batteries would not be fully connected, and pulled it out. Whenever the whole thing was put together with the batteries inside, it would go at full speed, regardless of what I had it set to, even if I had it set to the off position.

I pulled out the batteries, put my clothes back on, and made my way to the bathroom. Clean up was easy, just some dish soap and water cleaned it up nicely. Honestly, I feel this toy would be better off in a store stocked with medieval torture devices. I’ve heard of pleasure in pain, but this is ridiculous!

This thing still sits in my closet, and is still not working. I tried putting batteries in it, and the knob is still broken. I don't know what I am going to do with it. I live in the country so we have to burn all our trash, and I can't throw this out anywhere without anyone noticing.