Look at this pink beauty! What an amazingly exciting texture, what a delightful promise of velvety softness of the admired silicone!

All the texture lovers would say "Hell yesss, grab one quick 'cause it is wonderful!!!" But in practice no texture and amazingly safe material can balance the awfully weak vrooms which are like a nightmare for those who look for a traditional vibrator - aka a toy that has internal vibrations!

I was happy to receive one, of course! But I would rather call it a dildo than a vibe, because even on the highest speed practically, you can't feel any vibrations inside your flesh! Only those who prefer such shamefully weak "vrooms" can be satisfied with such a beautifully made piece of "silicone junk"!

Oh, the wonders of human genius to discover and manufacture silicone for all of us, lovers of safe and enjoyable pleasure toys!

The level 10 safety silicone is probably the very best flexible material you can find out there, being completely non-porous, food-grade, hypo-allergenic and latex and phthalates free. Because of that you can use it anywhere on and in your body you please, be it your precious flesh or hind muscles, sensitive clit or hungry male bits, tiny nipples or whatever else.

The tiny hearts and rounded swirls shower the surface with intense softness. You don't even know at first look which part you want to enjoy first, and it would be like a texture lover's dream come true if the vibrations matched that intensity!

To report the texture accurately here are the details:

One swirl row opens the texture heaven, being right under the curved G-tip, angled up towards the tip in the front.

Randomly placed flood of hearts occupy the middle portion of the shaft, arranged mostly like joining spots of a net. Though several stray hearts want to prove you that they are wild deep within, and they want to show you their true nature by promising the same frenzy of delight! The biggest distance is only a half inch between them, being the little ones of a 3/8 inch size.

Under the revolution of rebellious hearts three swirls guard the beastly little ones, rounded again, angled towards the G-tip in the front just like the higher keeper.

The brightly pink silicone is adorably squishy that you would want to be squeezing it all day long whatever you are doing in the meantime! You can experience full cushiness if you torment the curved tip a little bit. That is the only part where no rigid support of the motor lies underneath. (Better to say you can't find for sure where is any plastic under the sleeve.)

The level 8 safety ABS plastic control bottom is another blessing of such constructions! Being completely non-porous, supposedly food-grade, hypo-allergenic and latex and phthalates free, it is as safe as the wonderfully squishy silicone cover! (I always wondered by the way why plastic isn't higher in the rating, because silicone toys can melt, but hard plastic toys can't!) Its twist bottom control has ridges all over the bottom edge (bottom meaning the edge being closer to the silicone sleeve), and shallow teeth looking like a crown give even more support along the ridges for a better handling.

If you are already an advanced texture freak then the Pink Performers Lust is a wonderfully cushy version with the cute little hearts and swirls. But if the monstrous little ones scare you away (with their 2 millimeter thick pillows) you can just hope that the silicone is soft enough! It is. Before you get too scared away. Under the force of mighty human touch the frenzied mass of swirls and baby-hearts humbly sink flat into the main body of silicone! This has been the most textured toy to encounter my flesh ever, and I am still raving about its surface...! You can guess that it isn't such a "tough ride"...

If you know the good old smell of silicone then I don't have to explain my odor-related experiences to you. If you haven't - well, we rather call silicone odorless, because you have to have a very close sniff to smell the very subtle, pleasant smell of the material. And no taste accompanies the scent admired by many, so don't hope that your cushy vibe will taste like candy.

The heart ravaged waterproof buzzer is smooth to touch by the way, and the surface has only a wee bit of natural drag of the silicone. Just a wee tiny little bit, but it is deliciously peachy in general.

The beautiful pink army of hearts is much pinker than in the pictures (at least as I see the color with my monitor), actually darker, with a hint more of red shade, as neon-like as it can be! I find the look to be totally groovy and girlish, and though I really don't like pink toys but sometimes you just want to have that cutest Japanese chick atmosphere!

The overall length of it is 7 inches, with 1 1/2 inches of diameter. If you can take it all then the insertable length is 5 7/8 inches, with the curved tip being 1 3/8 inches long. The shape is excellent for anyone who likes the casual girth of 1 1/4-1 1/2 inches, and oh if it wasn't soooooo shamefully weak!!! I just can't get through that part!

The question of hiding this pinkness away depends on how discreet you want a pleasure item of yours to be. As long as you have enough free space for 7 x 1 1/2 inches you can stash it away into your drawer, into a Hide Your Vibe Pillow, an average sized velvet pouch or whatever else your choice of hideaway spot may be. The flexibility of the construction also allows you to squeeze this squishiness into tighter places.

Traveling chances with the pink heart horde also depend on your available space and usable methods. Would it fit into a purse? If it is a long enough purse, yep. A glove box maybe? Sure, if it isn't totally stuffed with other things already. But with a pouch nobody would care what is nestling inside, not to mention how amazingly such a cushy little thing can fit into any suitcases!

Easy as cake: you put 1 AA battery inside, screw the cap on, then twist the bottom to increase the speed of constant vibrations. I could hardly call them vrooms, being so ungodly weak, and this pink beauty is a multi-speed vibe only, having no special patterns of vibration. However, no matter what batteries I have tried, the wonderfully body-safe material and the quality of being waterproof don't make you feel better about this toy, seeming to have only one speed! I don't know if I am doing something wrong, but you are supposed to get more speeds out of this pinkness, and though I did mention it is multi-speed, you better know that I have different experiences with it!

I could hardly tell where the buzzy vibrations are exactly located, but the flexible shaft leads me to believe that there is a bullet at the higher portion of the vibe, under the top swirl. Though the flexibility is shown on the product package too, we can't find any clues to show the word "bendable" in EF's product description. That's pretty much why I think it works with a bullet inside, and why you don't want to stress the shaft too much! At least that's how I feel about it, and I don't bend it more than needed.

The vibrations are extremely buzzy and weak, and though they can be felt very well in the curved tip, with pressure they are pretty much equal with zero. If you are so extremely sensitive that this is the type you are looking for, then you will appreciate the mighty silent noises it makes! Of course as long as it is outside your flesh it will be clearly heard, but once it's inside you you will have to listen very carefully to hear the buzzes!

The pink cushy silicone sleeve seems to be mighty tight to ensure you about being purrrfectly waterproof, and there is even a tag on the bottom telling you to close the cap tightly. I haven't tried it in the water yet, but that's an amazingly useful quality when it comes to cleaning this horridly textured cushiness inviting all the lint and dirt around the little hearts!

Like said above, yep, it is like a NIGHTMARE to go through all the texture to get this awful piece of weakness clean somehow!!! Though it is said that you can boil silicone or toss it into the dishwasher, and it is even mentioned on the package that boiling test is one of the methods to know if a toy is made of 100% silicone, it does say that the waterproof quality stands for shower and cleaning uses in the case of the hearty pinkness! Because of that I wouldn't put it into boiling water or a dishwasher, and don't forget that neither would be a good idea because of the plastic cap anyway!

Warm water and mild soap and water-based lubricants are what Pink Performers Lust can handle, and the plastic bottom can be wiped clean with isopropyl alcohol as well if needed.

I have been storing it in its original package for reviewing, and as I've got about 4 more because of the number of orders when it was a free vibe (stocking vibes to plan for a lifetime - if it's free I grab it because God knows when the economy may make you rely on what you have, unable to obtain more!), the rest of them are in a large zip lock bag hanging out in a giant metal chest. They seem to be doing fine in there, must be happy vibes not worrying about anything in the world. After I am done reviewing the piece I am having handy now, I will probably just toss it to the others, and if not then I will get a properly sized pouch and keep it in there, among my other pleasure toys I use.

This is the part what inspired the title of this review!

The transparent plastic flip case has the Pink Performers Lust shown in its full beauty, and a vivid piece of paper gives you some info on the buzzy one. Pink, white and black shades rule the design, and on top of that a cushy rounded piece of silicone is stuck to the bottom right corner touchable and pokeable for testing! (Just to give you a comparison: I recently received the purple Silicone Finger Bunny free finger vibes, having the same idea to show the material off - and the piece of purple silicone isn't half as cushy as the pink lusty vibe's!) I assume that this design is made much more for physical toy stores, where you can rely only on what you see outside the package, not having an idea about the toy in use until you buy it and get to it. Gods, if those stores all had one piece you can try with a battery you bring with yourself, able to touch the piece and feel the vrooms! Imagine that you are in one, finding this pink beauty, poking the tiny rounded sample and falling in love with it! But you can't check the vrooms out, so you buy it, take it home, open it, test it and... And curse yourself for the rest of the week why you didn't purchase something else instead!

Especially in this case of ordering and receiving it from an online store, I find that to be an even bigger WASTE OF FINE SILICONE, to create a toy what SHOULD VIBRATE IN AN ACCEPTABLE WAY because it is called a vibrator! Not having the minimal vrooms it should rather fall into the DILDO category, taken out of the vibe list!

I am happy as hell that it was a free toy, because otherwise I would be ruffling my quills for the rest of the month!

Anyway, you will be surprised how much info the package tries to give you, in several languages. It focuses on the blessings of safe silicone mostly, gives you some common knowledge about the battery use, and it has a multi-lingual manual on batteries in general, on a long, narrow piece of paper.

I wouldn't use the plastic case for storage at all, because it takes up much-much more space than the vibe itself, and only the edges clip together so you couldn't even cut the unneeded parts off. Instead, just find a pouch, and as long as you don't mind the lint the tiny hearts are crazily in love with, and the horrifyingly long times to clean it somehow, you will be good to go that way. Otherwise just find out what is the most "lint-proof" way of storing it for your taste. (Organza bags would be an awesome idea, as long as you are sure that the material doesn't touch any others to melt on each other! Plastic zip lock bags also seem to be an excellent way to store your toys, I heard it is the way to go in the desert!)

I wouldn't give this pinkness as a gift to anyone under any circumstances, because of the horrid weakness of buzzes and the obvious packaging it has! But if you still insist, being so very sure that this is the pleasure toy the chosen person craves for, you could just find a fitting material to wrap it into in an artistic way, and include the papers from the package so it has an "original look". Or just wrap the whole package with the toy within into something, that seems to be a lint-free way.

I am horrified by this toy! I am glad that I could finally check it out, as I had been pretty interested how the texture would feel! But I knew that only 1 AA battery won't be even close to any acceptable power! The size, the silicone, just everything looks like the surroundings of the buzzing part are built to swallow that little bit of vibration away! And of course I also wonder how come mine has only one speed, but to tell the truth I can't stand its buzzes soooooo much that I don't even care! If it was stronger the many speeds would make sense, but not in this case!

On the other hand, I find it to be a very interesting and exciting dildo! Not to mention that it is a good and mighty comfortable starter for those who are in love with the highly textured glass dildos but are a little afraid of the concept, and want to experience rich texture in general. More than perfect beginner dildo for such a purpose!

I would stick this review under the dildo category if I could, and though I am not really interested in them, those who are would probably appreciate this review! Pink Performers Lust is a LOVELY piece to check out, as long as you don't expect acceptable vibrations! Otherwise just forget about it, or manage to use a Hitachi or some other powerful wand massager to touch to it while it is inside your flesh! I think that's the only way I will be able to enjoy it in a way what is fulfilling enough for me. Hopefully...

I was testing this little one with several clitoral vibes - I should rather say, I tested them, reaching towards this pinkness sometimes.

The size was perfect and the texture wasn't painful or disturbing in any way. Though the somewhat compact length may not be enough for those who prefer that extra bit for easy maneuvering... As the twist bottom has the healthy enough drag I had no problem with accidental changes of speed. The G-curve was pleasant, not as significant though as the firmer but still comfortable soft versions. It was still enough for me for proper arousal.

I don't remember to tell the truth if the texture meant any additional tease in my hungry hours of pleasure, and as far as I know I finally ended up with another shaft (don't ask which vibe) - though I am really not sure, as in the rows of ultimate bliss it probably happened that Pink Performers Lust ended up satisfying me once or twice.

All in all, it is a good enough size and enjoyable texture for internal pleasures, but those who look for VROOMS may not be so happy about it. Dildo lovers however will rejoice for the delightfully squishy bumps and swirls.

For free I am glad I have 5 of them, but I don't think I will be using it too much in the future... I will keep one handy anyway, because gods know when I may be in the mood for some hearty pink texture pleasures...