The Aphrodite is not a toy for the faint of heart. The toy is as long as my arm and almost as thick, definitely not meant to be in any way discreet. It’s rather on the loud side as well, which it can hardly help being. The charging function is useful to avoid collecting batteries all the time, but I wouldn’t recommend this one for fun on the go unless you always carry a massive suitcase and have a lot of privacy.

Opening the even more massive box was interesting as it includes a helpful diagram of female genitalia and a lot of tips and tricks, making this an even better toy for a beginner. The small bag it came with is a good size and quite helpful for keeping track of all the attachments. It’s also a generous size if any smaller toys need somewhere to be kept somewhere. The Aphrodite is a very cheery shade of purple, and the allover impression is of friendliness.

The three attachments all have their merits. The smooth one is very good for basic, beginning stimulation. It is made of firm silicone with some give, making a nice texture, and is very versatile if simple. The long, thin attachment (vaguely resembling a pacifier) was more direct and stimulated whichever area it was applied to very strongly. It was less maneuverable and a little awkward until I got used to it, but overall, the design was nice. My favorite is the one covered with little, protrusive nubs. Those combined general and point stimulation in a lovely way, and the attachment is big enough that my inner thighs were massaged as well. I used the three in this order for best results, but individually, they work well too. Finally, the attachments are all very easy to clean for pragmatic considerations.

The Aphrodite does not have quite the power one would expect from its size, but there is still a lot of buzz. The heat function was a little hard to get used to. It was barely noticeable and only turned on to correspond with the lower vibration setting, which wasn’t quite as intense as I would have liked. While a good idea, the warming didn’t work as well in practice. The head was somewhat flexible, though not as much as I usually like.

The variety of attachments are the high point for this toy, with the massager itself not quite living up to expectations, but the overall experience was still good.