Um, Geezo...

The Russian Torpedo was way too much buzzy power for me. I wasn't even able to use it over clothing. I didn't enjoy inserting it backwards, and couldn't find a reason to want to keep this or recommend it to anyone. If you received it as a free gift, I'd keep it for when you have a gag gift or white elephant party gift exchange. It is simply not worth wasting batteries on.
Published:
Pros
$, Discreet shape/size, No smell, Powerful
Cons
LOUD, Too powerful for me, Buzzy, Hard to turn controls
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

Power isn't everything. The Pocket Wand has a lot of power, but that is about it. Its form is nothing to brag amount, especially since the majority of the toy houses the batteries. This toy was manufactured with the least amount of effort possible. It's simply unappealing and was a complete turn off to use. It might wow someone who has no clue what else is out there, but for me, I was completely unimpressed. It runs on two AA batteries which seems like overkill for such a simple and small toy. The power level + the design is also too much for my clit. The unforgiving plastic material and the buzzy vibrations equal painful sensations. Not a good thing... I can only recommend this to those who have next to dead clitorises and are on a super tight budget. It can be used by both genders though. Just don't buy this for a partner, there are better things out there, for cheaper even.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

The Russian Torpedo, as it is called on the packaging is made of plastic. It has sort of a cheap, grimy feel to it, and is not as smooth as other plastics I have experienced, even at the same price level. Plastic is latex and phthalate free, while being hypo-allergenic. It is non-porous but cannot be sterilized, so it is smart to not share or use a condom when doing so. The material has no give, smell, or taste.

On Eden this toy comes in purple and pink. Both are see through, which I find tacky since you can see the batteries I put inside. On the back of the package it shows this toy in yellow, white, and also black.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

Well...the packaging says it is foreign styled. I don't really know what that is supposed to mean or who it is supposed to be foreign to, but it looks generic in all places to me. It's about the size and shape of a fat marker. I guess it looks like a torpedo...sure. It is 6" long. There is about 1 3/4" of insertion length before it hits the seam where the battery compartment closes. If you are not sensitive to texture, you may not notice the seam and may be able to insert it further. However, for me, this was an external only toy. It is actually a lot like the Cute Baby, but longer and with more power. The thickest part is right on the seam at about 3 1/8" in circumference.

And just like the Cute Baby, this one has an annoying control and battery compartment too. It pops open with brute force so the two AA batteries can be inserted. Be careful to not pinch your fingers when you push to close it again.

This toy is discreet because it is relatively small and nondescript. Is that why it is called a Russian Torpedo?
    • Beginner
    • Discreet look/design

Functions / Performance / Controls

The Pocket Wand has one simple function - to vibrate strong and loud. It only has one speed and it is way too much for me. The vibrations are very buzzy and they travel down the entire length of the Torpedo. It is possible that you could insert the handle end for a few inches and avoid the seam all together, but it is way too thin to do much pleasure. The good news is that this toy did not require lubricant for me.

The control on this is really annoying and not convenient. To turn the toy on, you have to grip it with both hands, one on each end on opposite sides of the seam and twist. It takes a good grip and two hands because it is that hard to turn! There is only one spot where the connectors make contact to turn on the power. If you go past it, the toy will turn off. I could not always get it to connect and went around a few times before it would turn on. There is also no fast way to turn it off.

The noise level is really loud! It can most definitely be heard through a door even if it is making contact with the body or is inside.

I have not used this toy a whole lot, so I cannot attest to the battery life. I can say that I imagine that it eats them because of the power.
    • Not discreet at all
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

The Torpedo Pocket Wand is easy enough to take care of. It can be used with any lubricant and is easy to wipe down with a baby wipe after use. If you don't have one, a wash cloth, warm water, and soap will do just fine. It can be stored pretty much anywhere. i would remove the batteries first though.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The Russian Torpedo comes in a simple, plastic, snap to close case. It is not discreet and wouldn't make a good gift unless you want something for a bachelorette party. The language on the packaging makes me believe it was written by someone who doesn't know English very well:

"Give You Unique Enjoyment"
"Make You Happy Everyday"
"With Russian's man energy and body, and the shape of the Torpedo, added with the powerful motor. It is ready to dig the deep of the lady." -Really? LOL!
"It can give lady the special feeling."
"You will never forget the time you and him."

So yea, not appealing even in the packaging. I works for storage though.
    • Good for storage
    • Minimal
    • Recyclable

Personal comments

The Russian Torpedo was way too much buzzy power for me. I wasn't even able to use it over clothing. I didn't enjoy inserting it backwards, and couldn't find a reason to want to keep this or recommend it to anyone. If you received it as a free gift, I'd keep it for when you have a gag gift or white elephant party gift exchange. It is simply not worth wasting batteries on.
Follow-up commentary
The Russian Torpedo Pocket Wand is a useless toy to me. It never got used again and I'll never recommend it to anyone. There are much better options for even less.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Diabolical Kitty
    Thanks for letting me that the Russian Torpedo has failed yet again
  • Contributor: Beck
    The toy is not the Russian stud it says it is! Thanks for review.
  • Contributor: PassionQT
    It looks boring..Good review!
  • Contributor: iLashe
    hahaa thanks for the review, i love the translations, i might just want to get that for the box
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    LOL it is a funny package!
  • Contributor: frisky069
    thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: Ryuson
    Thanks for the review! This freebie does not sound like my cup of tea!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Not mine... lol
  • Contributor: Elaira
    I took one look at this and decided I was much better off this in my life. Haha! Thanks for letting me know that this one is a fail.
  • Contributor: KinkBiLove
    this toy sucks ! i'm pissed i got iit
  • Contributor: js250
    Yeah, I quit using mine!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    lol nice
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