The Ultimate Massager is a great portable and waterproof toy at a low price for powerful and varied clitoral stimulation, and even all-over muscle massage. If you're looking for powerful cord-free vibrations on a budget, this toy is worth every cent.

The body of the Ultimate Massager is made of various plastics. The colored part has a nice, velvety finish while the white is simply smooth plastic and has little raised hearts all over the front and little smooth grooves on the back. The texture here seems purely aesthetic, as it doesn't really help you grip - and as it's at the opposite end from the motor, it doesn't really provide another option for stimulation.

The top of the massager has three little smooth metal half-spheres, they start off cool but absorb body heat readily. The four optional attachments are clear, hard plastic. Each of these caps has a different texture or lack thereof. There's a smooth dome cap that has an unfortunate molding dot at the very top that may be annoying if you're sensitive to texture. One with five raised circles around a smaller middle one. They're flat and not pointy, like a LEGO block. One with 12 little pointy cones/spikes on it. And finally, one with a many smaller spikes of varying heights that form a dome shape.



For clitoral use, I prefer using the metal half-spheres alone. The heat sensation makes it that much more pleasurable and intense for me. I've used all the caps and while none of them were painful, they weren't particularly exciting. They are much better suited to body massage and work well for that, even if the device is a little small to really do much work on sore muscles.

The toy has no perceptible odor.

The Ultimate Massager is a classic pocket rocket. It's basically just a cylinder with a motor at the head and three half-sphere bumps on top. It's 5.5" long and 1" wide. The top half is the plush velvet finish, there's a clear o-ring to keep it watertight in the middle where the toy unscrews, and the bottom is smooth white plastic with heart texture and the function button.



The toy is fairly light, but doesn't feel cheap and is comfortable to hold. I feel the larger size, compared to a bullet, is actually an advantage - it's more comfortable to hold and the vibrations don't travel as much to your hand. The construction is solid. The toy is powered by one AA battery which you insert and remove by turning the top of the toy counter-clockwise until the arrow on the base aligns with the "OPEN" text and the top springs up a bit. The metal prongs on the inside have a helpful picture of battery orientation which I think is a great touch (I've had toys with no indications whose only recourse was trial and error).

While the toy's design isn't sexual and is rather cute, it's a very small massager and an iconic pocket rocket. It's discreet if someone doesn't know what it is or if you can convince them you have very small muscle aches you need to take care of on the go.

It's very portable and can easily fit in a purse. If you prefer to use the metal half-spheres for stimulation, you could use one of the caps for travel protection so that the part that would touch you is not exposed. The toy requires twisting the upper portion to turn on and is extremely unlikely to be activated in transit, it would be a one in a million happening if it did.

To turn the toy on, you rotate the top section clockwise until it clicks into place, a raised arrow on the bottom will point to "ON". The toy, however, will not actually activate until you press the function button. I like this, as I feel it makes it almost impossible for it to turn on accidentally.

The Ultimate Massager is controlled by a single function button at its base. It boasts 10 functions, but you can easily turn it off by holding the button down for about one second, without having to cycle through all of them. To turn it completely off, just twist the top counter-clockwise until it clicks into position and the arrow lines up with the "OFF" text.

And those functions! One, the lowest steady vibration. Two, stronger steady vibration. Three, a high level of steady vibration. Four, a fast pulse. Five, a pulse as before followed by a longer pulse. Six, two short pulses and a long one. Seven, five pulses that increase in power from barely there to intense. Eight, the vibrations start off soft, escalate and then two short pulses, escalates higher and pulses twice again. Nine, an escalation as before followed by two pulses, which then winds back down and pulses again. Ten, three pulses of increasing power followed by an escalation.

Whew! Lots of variety if you like patterns. I actually really like the escalating patterns, but still find steady vibration the most useful for reaching climax.

The vibrations in this toy are fairly deep, low-pitch penetrating vibrations, as opposed to buzzy surface vibrations. It can actually perform decently as a body massager, but isn't a stand-out product for this purpose, although, the small size is convenient.

The toy is not whisper-quiet, but isn't terribly loud either. I can hear a low rumble from outside the covers, but certainly not outside a door!

The Ultimate Massager is waterproof which makes cleaning worry-free and you could theoretically use this toy in the shower. The o-ring feels well-fit, but I have not tested it in that regard.

The Ultimate Massager can be used with water-based, oil, or silicone lubricant. Using the smooth metal half-spheres or the plastic caps, lubricant is not strictly necessary for comfort, but can be enjoyed for added sensation.

The toy is easy to care for. I would recommend running it under water and washing with soap. The bumps on the head make it a little trickier to use a wipe on, but it's certainly possible. A cotton swab in isopropyl alcohol will also get the job done.

Being so small, it can be stored in a purse, drawer, or baggie. You could throw this in a plastic bag if you don't want it touching other things while not in use and a good way to keep all the caps together, as I feel they tend to want to get dispersed and lost otherwise.

The Ultimate massager comes in a minimal and simple plastic clamshell case with a descriptive paper insert. It's not obscene, but not discreet: the functions are said to be "sensual" and the caps are "exciting". It's easy to get open, no scissors needed. It's utilitarian and serves its purpose.



The packaging isn't good for storage unless you're a masochist who likes fiddling all the little bits carefully into place every time you want to put it away. A toy bag, sock, or plastic baggie would work much better.

If you're looking for high-power and fairly rumbly vibrations on a budget, this is a great toy to try. It's simple, effective and takes common AA batteries!

The Ultimate Massager has left me very pleasantly surprised. I got this toy as I had never tried a pocket rocket before and wanted to give it a go. I was impressed by how strong this toy was - it gets the job done just as well as toys that cost many times its price. Holding it side-by-side with my MiMi, its strongest steady vibration hits between MiMi's 4 and 5. This toy is right up there with MiMi, Tango and the Leaf line.

If this is your first toy and you're not sure you want to spend luxury prices, I'd recommend giving the Ultimate Massager a try for a pretty comparable experience in terms of vibration pitch and intensity.

The Ultimate Massager, however, offers something different too: temperature play. The metal half-spheres start out pleasantly cool, but heat up with your body and the working of the motor. I found this heat to be very intense and pleasurable, on top of the strong vibrations.