The silicone finger bunny might just be deserving of the finger. Have you ever been irritated by a product that warms you up, but never takes you over the top regardless of your level of determination. This finger-mate reminds me of the nursery story, and in this case, Little Bunny Foo Foo, I don't think I like you!

Dear bunny,

At first glance, little bunny, you are adorable. You even have a creepy little face that will be suffocated into my clitoris. As a matter of fact, I am laughing my evil laugh right now thinking about smooshing your face all up on me and yelling "How do you like that?!"

Then, there are those weirdo batteries...3 LR44 batteries? What? Thank goodness 3 are included to start with, but I don't think you're of enough value to replace those expensive little things or to buy glasses after the eyestrain of trying to match them up in the battery aisle. P.S. Thanks for the heads up on the little dot of white paper that you call an insulator that I had to remove before using you. I only wish the first two batteries wouldn't have popped out and rolled across my floor like they were participating in a roller disco competition. Then again, there was that third battery that I had to whack out of you.

Now, let's talk about this issue you have with misleading me about being waterproof. I see the word written right across the front of your package...upon closer examination, fine print says that you are not meant for bath use. Does that really make you waterproof?

You also mislead me with the silicone title. Clearly, you are made of silicone and plastic. While silicone is a 10 on the safety scale, plastic is an 8. Also, silicone is compatible with water-based lubricants, while plastic is compatible with water, oil, or silicone-based. Therefore, you are really only suggested for use with water-based lubricants, though you are supposed to be adventuring into the shower where water-based is useless.

Finally, you mislead me by pretending to be easy to clean with soap and water despite the crevices in your face. Since your face is in a good place to get dirty, I find myself using a q-tip to clean you more in depth.

Next, we get into your many rhythms. Sure you have ten, but only two work for me AFTER you've been taken off the bullet. Yeah, I'm afraid you muffle the bullet. The bullet is your better half. If you were both turned into people, the bullet would be Christina Aguilera (before she put on weight), and you would be Jordan Brafman.

Your ten rhythms are:
1. Low Vibrate
2. Medium Vibrate
3. High Vibrate
4. Gradient Burst
5. Intermittent
6. Surgue (is that a spelling error in the booklet?)
7. Inta-surge (ummm...what?)
8. Even Step
9. Roller Coaster Spurt
10. Pulsate

The only thing I genuinely like about the button that controls this is that I can stop you by holding the button for 3 seconds.

It's not all you, some of it is me. You see, you are relatively quiet (can't be heard through a closed door), you offer 3 vrooms, you don't stink, there is no gross taste, and the nipple stimulation is pretty good. Still, I want something that offers me 5 vrooms, and something besides floppy ears against my clit. Then there is the fact that you are only 4 inches long. This makes you pretty useless for other methods of play. I'm sorry, but I'm kicking you out. The bullet can stay though...for now.

This little bunny still hasn't made it back out of my closet. I don't want to see his little face peering up from the trash can, but he's just no competition for my other toys. Maybe they should offer this bunny in some crazy color or pattern and make the ears hard. I could be sold on that.