This goes beyond the word "classic" in the sense that even though this vibrator may have a classic shape to it, the dances it does are anything but classic or traditional for your average plastic vibrator that lives in your sock drawer. In fact, you had better toss that sorry old thing out and toss this bad boy in because you will be amazed.

As classic vibrators go, you might be impressed by multiple speeds, or if you're like me you skip right to TAKE ME HOME and don't even bother with the lower speeds. That's where this vibrator breaks the mold and delights you with seven fantastic functions. It's great for anyone who considers themselves a vibrator fan but maybe wants a little variety.

The texture is velvety smooth and there are no offending smells to report. This is not your average cheap plastic feel that you might also experience with a Wal Mart sand toy, this is more grown up and luxurious feeling.

Six inches, is that enough? I'd say so. I was able to comfortably hold the toy, felt like it was meaty enough that it wouldn't snap in half like a stick, and the weight of it is just right. This hot pink color screams "vibrator" at you so it's not exactly discreet in the sense that anyone who found it would know exactly what it is, but it is a nice looking toy nonetheless.

Thank god for push buttons! No terrible accidents with this one involving lube and slippery fingers on a turn cap or anything like that, this baby is easy as pie to turn on and off.

Okay, here's where we get to the fun part where I attempt to describe the seven functions that the toy cycles through.

1. Moderate strength solid vibration
2. Choppy helicopter
3. Choppy helicopter followed by several seconds of moderate vibration, climbing to stronger vibration, then back to choppy helicopter.
4. Machine gun followed by four long shocks with short breaks, then five short shocks with short breaks.
5. Solid moderate vibe, down to medium, down to low, back to medium, back to awesome.
6. What I call the "screamer," because the toy makes a strange screaming noise as it cycles through a few rapid bursts of energy followed by a pause that causes the toy to emit a screaming noise.
7. A few shots from a machine gun to solid high for several seconds.

Wow, Cal Exotics finally made a toy that I truly love, and it's digital no less. He's a bit of a noisy one, which is why I dubbed him "The Screamer" but to add that this thing is waterproof I think makes up for any strange screaming robot sex noises it might make.

You've got this safe PU coated plastic/Velvet Cote toy here that you wash down with soap and water and lube up with water and silicone based products.

Thank you Cal Exotics for making a great vibrator that not only does tricks but actually has the power behind it to get somebody off!