As I was releasing the Cupid’s Club Rocker Rabbit from its plastic prison, I noticed that the insert touted it as a “mega powerful rabbit vibrator,” but I was skeptical about this claim until I actually powered it up and went at it. The cheap, unimaginative packaging led me to believe this was yet another semi-crappy rabbit knock-off so I paid extra close attention to the scanty information given in the insert. Cupid’s Club is a U.K.-based company that claims it hand picks “goodies for grown ups that make love lives livelier.” The insert gives cleaning advice (use an antibacterial cleanser and a warm, damp cloth) and medical cautions (e.g. “do not use on swollen, inflamed areas”—although I don’t think this exactly applies in all cases of swollen (read: aroused) areas! Apparently, Cupid’s Club “beaver(s) away around the clock to bring you the very best toys” they can find, and if you’re not satisfied, you can e-mail them at idontlikeit@cupidsclub.co.uk. I haven’t tested it out, but I do hope that this applies to U.S. customers as well.

Despite all of the nods to customer service, I didn’t initially have very high hopes for its quality because it’s made in China, comes in crappy packaging, and exhibits at least one of the tell-tale traits of cheap toys: a seam running down the shaft where the two halves were fused together. The seam is completely non-irritating though, as the hard plastic interior of this toy is encased in some of the softest, squishiest jelly I’ve ever felt. People who are into VixSkin et al. might really appreciate the softness, even though it’s not a very high-quality material. The insert claims its “skin-friendly,” and, although the packaging does not explicitly list materials, other websites selling this same item claim it’s “pthalates-free.” Unfortunately, we have no way of absolutely verifying that. It definitely does not have a strong odor, but it’s also definitely not silicone or sterilizeable. The material is a very stretchy and it’s transparent with a reddish tint.

Two scroll bars control the speed of the clitoral stimulator’s vibration and two push-in buttons turn it on/off and change the directions of the rotating shaft. The clit vibe is consists of an actuall thick bullet vibe attached to the base, and it's as strong as a decent bullet vibe too!

One feature that the insert does not specifically advertise, but which is not found in all rabbit vibrators is that while twelve sizeable balls rotate along the inside of the shaft, the tip also moves in circles. Some cheap rabbit vibes, like the Ghost vibrator I recently reviewed, feature only the rotating movement and no pearls in the shaft.

But, hand’s down, the best feature on this vibrator is its POWER. I used rechargeable batteries in it, but it was definitely the most powerful rabbit vibe|Cupid's rocker rabbit I’ve ever used. With other rabbit vibes, I find that the strong clenching of my vaginal walls makes the rotating function stop or slow down considerably when the clit vibe is on full force. The rotations on this baby, however, do not quit even when both features are on full blast, the batteries are not fresh, and my pussy is clamped down on it! Now that’s worth quite a lot in my book.

It’s a wonderful masturbation tool, and the stimulations from multiple sources effortlessly turns me on, gets me going, and takes me home without any undue muscle-straining. I do, however, feel squeamish about using it without a condom because it's not silicone. And, in order to avoid all skin contact with it surface, you have to slip another condom on the clit stimulator too, which feels like a waste of condoms and a slight pain in the ass. It seems like no single toy has all the features I want: the Mary Mermaid is silicone but too low on the power; the Rocker packs a great punch, but is made of jelly/TPR/mystery material. Ah well, there are worse things in life.