This bizarre-looking toy piqued my interest, and I couldn’t wait to try it out and see if it actually lived up to its hype. With the helpful booklet ‘o ideas in front of me, I suspended disbelief and began the experiment.

I had a few brief moments of frustration thinking I didn’t have the batteries in correctly, but a quick perusal of the directions cleared up that little cloud of confusion: it turns out that you have to hold down the right button for a few seconds to start it, and hit it another time for the instant “o” setting.

Even though it’s a very strange and funny shape, The Cone|The Cone - Massager by Twisted Products still manages to hit one or two of the real good spots. I quickly learned not to put my entire weight on it, because the vibrations went from a rapid fire “oh, baby!” to a tepid whimper... although that might be due to my on-and-off affair with misters Ben & Jerry.

Whether I was sitting on it, lying on it or pinning it to the wall, I enjoyed the different patterns but the internal stimulation alone wasn’t quite enough to get me off--even though the “o” button came close! I kept on craving it deeper than the cone shape would allow. I tried switching it up, and just using the very tip as a clitoral stimulator, but most of the vibration is centered around the middle; it isn’t until you get to some of the higher settings that the tip really gets going. Even though the higher settings are a lot louder, the vibrations they cause at the tip were fantastic enough to send me on my first “o” of the evening!

When I lowered myself onto the tip and added my favorite clitoral stimulator to the mix, I set off a delicious chain of orgasms. I couldn’t tell where one stopped and the next began. Five minutes later my knees were still weak and my ears were still ringing!

Of course, some of that ringing might have to do with the sheer noise this thing manages to produce. On the carpet or the bed, the first couple settings were almost silent, especially when behind a closed door. Any level above that, though, and the noises coming out of my closed door sounded closer to “Flight of the Bumblebee.” It was even worse when I had it on a hard surface.

This is a fantastic couples’ toy, and a great addition to other play, but I wasn’t terribly impressed when I tried to use it by itself. I had to keep on mixing it up and incorporating different things. I still appreciate the simple, funky silicone design and unique shape, but I’m more likely to pull out my favorite rabbit vibe next time the mood strikes me.