After giggling consultations with my girlfriends and thoughtful consideration of the whole EdenFantasys website, I decide to take the plunge and purchase my first ever vibrator. I had absolutely no idea what I was looking for or doing, and it was this naiveté, perhaps, that led me to select the Jenna's velvet jewels royal.

Sleek, simple and prettily encrusted with bling, I thought I had made a fool-proof choice. I excitedly opened the package and admired the sparklies. Seriously, if it wasn't so obvious what this thing was for, I would have kept it out in my room for all to see and admire! The smooth, cool feel of the plastic was non-intimidating, and I felt comfortable giving my first session with a vibrator a go.

Perhaps this is the appropriate moment to say that I am very inexperienced. I expected, foolishly, that I would just place the vibrator on my lady-parts and magic would happen. I hear that there are some toys that can provide that instantaneous pleasure, but this is not one of them. I rotated the dial base all the way round but never felt more than a moderate humm. I mostly experimented using this toy externally but received no pleasure for my pains. Whether I tried rubbing the toy on my clit or teasing my nipples, I was underhwhelmed. I should mention that I made only a meagre attempt at insertion. I did not have any lube and the sensation I experienced from the small amount I was able to get the toy in was enough for me to give up altogether. Similarly, I was completely uninspired to take advantage of the waterproof feature.

After the first initial try-out of the toy, I made a few more attempts at learning how to use it but gave up. I almost gave up on sex toys completely, but luckily for me, did not hold my lackluster experience with this vibe against the whole pack of them. Perhaps this toy would be a good low-key exciter for someone more creative than I, but it was definitely not helpful for a beginner with little imagination and a desire for something stronger and more intuitive.

If this was the only vibrator I had ever tried, I would not have ever wanted to try another. Underwhelming power, limited use options. Really, all it has going for it is a cute, girly design.