Monsters Inc.? I’ve found your lost friend. Meet The Zone Bliss.

The Zone Bliss is a stand alone vibrator which perches a 4 inch insertable, vibrating shaft with a squishy tip and outer layer surrounding a solid core. It stands on a sturdy tripod. With its silver button press controls and bright color, it rather resembles the latest member of a friendly monster gang, or the first pioneer of an alien race.

The concept behind the toy's design is to provide hands free anal or vaginal stimulation, presumably to allow the user to occupy their hands in other ways. The toy is meant to be perched on a secure, flat surface, ideally a floor or table. The user is then meant to lower him or herself down onto its shaft, or allow its shaft to stimulate his or her balls or clit.

To start with a pretty simple problem: How often do I want to get off while kneeling on the floor? While the Zone Bliss is tall enough that I could lower myself onto it comfortably (I did so while kneeling and leaning back), this wasn't a position that was particularly exciting since I ended up using one of my “free” hands to stabilize myself. I would love to see a variation on the Zone Bliss which could be used on the bed.

For some people, the Zone Bliss will be perfect. For those who want shallow, but girthy stimulation (the Zone Bliss comes in at about 1.75 inches diameter), this toy will likely suffice. It did, in fact, sit steadily on a flat surface as I lowered myself on and off it. I am not personally interested in shallow girthy stimulation (girthy, yes, but shallow? Hell no), and so was frustrated by the limited penetration options. With that said, the first few inches of a vagina are the most sensitive, so for those of you interested in that specific kind of stimulation, as opposed to g-spot stimulation or simply deeper penetration, the Zone Bliss will likely please.

While I was less than thrilled by the Zone Bliss's penetration capabilities, its vibration options were well designed. It has seven options, with various patterns and intensities of vibration (which are entertainingly described on the packaging with names like “Whoo hoo!” and “Rock ‘n' Roll”). I particularly enjoyed the vibration when I abandoned the hands-off approach and used the Zone Bliss's tripod as a handle while lying down and using the shaft as a clitoral vibe.

Another shortcoming of the Zone Bliss emerged as I tried the vibration settings—this baby is loud. Given that it's meant to be used on the floor, no blankets were on hand to really stifle it, which means loud music for those of you who play in this (only sometimes blissful) zone.

The Zone Bliss is made of TPR silicone which means that it can be used with water based lube, cleaned with soap and water (sterilized by popping in boiling water) and should be stored away from pure silicone toys.