As a new reviewer, I was super excited to pick out my first toy. With the help of my boyfriend, we scoured the site looking for the perfect toy. Since he lives on the other side of the country and I get awful lonely, he suggested I try a clitoral stimulator and more specifically, one that was a strap on so that I could wear it to some of my more boring classes!

Our choice? The Purple Venus Butterfly II Vibrator|Venus butterfly II - Hands free and remote controlled strap-on vibrator. I have to tell you, I’ve never been so excited to get mail. I was on my way to a tutoring session and brought the box with me because I just couldn’t wait to see! Luckily, my tutor was distracted by another student so I got a sneak peek and discovered a pretty pink box waiting for me.

Sadly, that’s pretty much where my excitement ended. While the box looks nice, it had a flaw that I noticed immediately. Nowhere on the box did it say how many or what type of batteries it took. It did, however, say the word vibrator in not one, but six different languages.

Opening the box, I discovered the instructions. Oh good, I thought! Here’s where I’ll figure out how this thing works. No such luck. It was a generic set of vibrator instructions that referred to inserting it vaginally or anally. Ok, I’m as adventurous as the next girl, but somehow I didn’t figure this was going to fit anywhere but over my clit.

So, tossing caution (and the directions) to the wind, I pulled it out. I’m a bigger girl so I was thrilled to see that the straps were actually easily adjustable and plenty stretchy to fit around me. It took me a few minutes, but going by the picture, I thought I had it right. Now, time to turn this pretty purple toy on and see what it can do..

Unfortunately, I found out what it couldn’t do. It couldn’t find my clit! I figured I must be doing something wrong, so I wriggled and jiggled it and eventually found that if I sat up and shoved the “head” in, it could buzz against my clit. Level one felt pretty nice so I thought I’d try level 2.

All I can say is wow and not in a good way. This thing went from sweetly buzzing to sounding like a lawnmower and the vibrations went from yummy to holy cow, could you leave my clit in one piece? A bit nervous of what my neighbor might think, I bumped it up to level 3. Level 3 was like having an airplane engine between your legs. I’m all about stimulation but the noise alone was enough to put me off.

Overall, I’m going to give this pretty, purple butterfly 3 stars, mostly because level one is going to be my friend for a very long time. Other than that, it’s loud, hard to place and really just not much fun.