I've wanted to try the tease of a remote-control egg for a really long time. I had fantasies of being taken out to a swanky restaurant with an egg tucked inside, while my tuxedo-ed partner tantalized me from across the table.

Unfortunately, no swanky restaurant was available. Nor was a tuxedo-ed partner. So I took the egg to an event sponsored by my local open-minded dating group and showed it around with the hope that I'd find someone willing to tease me with it.

This toy consists of two parts: a controller box and a smooth plastic egg. The egg is a hefty 3" long by 1.25" wide, which filled my pussy more than I expected. A long cord comes out of the egg. It's meant to be a retrieval cord so that you can pull the toy out when you are done playing. Batteries are included; you'll need two different types (one for the egg and one for the controller) when the included batteries die. The controller is a rectangular plastic box with a single on-off button and an indicator light.

When I showed the toy to my pals at the event, they were surprised at how loud the egg sounded when it buzzed in the hand. We passed the toy playfully around, testing out the controller's range. We found the range to be quite satisfactory; even from another room (and through a closed door), we were able to switch the egg off and on.

There's a slight delay between flipping the switch and the beginning of the egg's vibration, which is a little disconcerting at first.

Soon enough I'd found an enthusiastic friend to work the controller.

I adjourned to the bathroom, where I covered the egg with a condom and slid it into my vagina. There had been suggestions from my friends that the egg would be perfect in the ass. Retrieval cord or no, I would not recommend using this toy in the ass. I have extremely limited faith in any butt-toysthat can fit completely inside.

By the time I had the toy situated, my friend had flipped the switch.

I found the vibrations to be moderately strong and quite loud. Even before I came out of the bathroom my friends could hear the bee-like sounds emanating from my pussy. At closer range the buzzing was unmistakable. I cannot imagine that one could wear this vibe in public unless there was a lot of ambient noise. It would work at a club or a concert, but definitely not in a library or coffee shop.

The vibrations from the egg were a really fun tease but not enough to get me off, even with the ardent ministrations of the control-box holder. As there is only one speed on the toy, it was almost a shock to my system every time the switch was flipped. A power adjustment would have been really nice on this toy, and it's something I would expect from a toy priced at over $80.00.

Eventually I removed the egg, washed it carefully (it is waterproof!), and passed it off to another friend. She slipped the egg into a condom and then the fun began again. She also found the vibrations strong but ultimately insufficient for orgasm; however, we had a really good time with a fun little game called "Hide the Controller."

The controller operator would switch on the vibe then pass it off surreptitiously to someone else while our friend enjoyed the vibrations. The controller is small enough to be easily hidden in a hand or a pocket, so it was quite amusing to see her try to figure out who was in charge of the buzz.

I'd recommend the Remote Control Egg as a fun way to tease a partner either in private or in a loud public location. The toy's loudness and lack of any way to control intensity earned this product only two stars out of five.