This may be a harsh review of the Ch'i Jade, but the only remotely hot thing about this toy for me was the fact that it came to me broken and I had to take a screwdriver to it and put it apart to fix – which I did. Busting out my sexy butch side got me all geared up to get off, but alas, I was sorely disappointed by this duel vibe.

While I wasn't really into the whole martian/cactus love child appearance of the Ch'i Jade, it was overall design that was really my problem. I've never tried an internal vibrator with a clit stimulator before, and maybe this is true of all of them, but I found the clit-stimulating nub bouncy, annoying and in the way, even when it wasn't buzzing. And when it was on, I could never get it in the right position to actually feel good. I prefer firmer pressure from clit stimulation and this definitely wasn't it, which means that women that like a softer, tickling touch might love this vibe.

The second part of the overall design was the damn buttons. There is a set of buttons for each part of the toy; one set to control the clit stimulator and one set to turn on the spinning insertable section. For both parts, one button turns the toy on and up, and one turns it down and off, with corresponding light up red dots. Unfortunately, with the toy in your pussy, the buttons are incredibly confusing and hard to manage. Since they don't really make a clicking sound or push in very far, it's hard to tell if you've actually hit it or not. And once it's on, it was damn near impossible for me to figure out how to turn it off. This sounds like an easily remedied problem, right? Just turn it on before you play. Yeah, that might work if it wasn't spinning all over the place. I could not find a way to comfortably get the vibe inside me once it was going. And even once it was inside, I generally didn't like the spinning motion.

Not the worst toy I've ever played with, but Ch'i Jade is definitely never seeing the light of day (or pussy) again. At least not one attached to me. And while I wasn't too impressed with the design, the vibrations were good when the nub was held down and not flopping around and the noise was at a minimum, so I give it a nice round three vrooms and three bees.