The term "sex toy" makes me think of pleasure, attraction, and plain old raw SEXINESS. Unfortunately, this toy doesn't make me think of any of those things; all I think about this toy is, "How tacky!"

The "Hi-Tech Remote Control Kit" arrives in a white cardboard box, adorned with a picture of the toy and a trailer-trash looking girl stripping herself naked on the front cover. The back cover includes the same pictures, only slightly smaller and with more text. It all looks very trashy, and sure enough, the toy inside is anything but sexy.

This "kit" is really just a remote control vibrator with batteries included. The vibrator, remote control, 2 AA batteries and 1 N battery are arranged in a plastic try inside of the box. There are no written instructions included.

The vibe itself is 3" long and about 1" wide. It's made from black rubber cote and has a smooth, slightly velvety texture to it. (It also reeks of rubber if you get it close to your face, so avoid sniffing this vibe at all costs.) The battery compartment screws off of the bottom of the vibrator and has a plastic wrist strap attached to it. This is supposed to be a "bonus feature" to the toy, but I just thought it made it look even tackier. The vibe takes 2 AAs; there are small stickers on the inside of the battery compartment that tell you how to insert them.

The remote control is about half the size of the vibrator. It has the same rubber cote covering and has a pink sticker on the front of it. "Ultra 10 Program" and "Hi.Tech Remote Control" are written in bold letters on the front, and the on/off button--located in the middle of the remote--is labeled in smaller letters. You rotate through the speeds and functions using the on/off button, which means you will eventually turn the toy off again if you cycle through all 10 functions. A small slide-off panel on the back of the remote allows you to insert the N battery with relative ease.

The remote control is also attached to a clip-on chain. Not only is this chain also--you guessed it!--tacky, but it's very tiny. I tried clipping the remote to my belt loops on several pairs of pants, but it couldn't fit around any of them.

Power-wise, the Remote Control Kit is pretty strong. Unfortunately, the power levels aren't very varied, and the difference between the lowest power setting and the highest powered setting is absolutely negligible. This vibrator also boasts 10 functions, but most of them blend together as well; I could pick out 2 (barely different) speeds for a basic vibration, a pulsation, and a roller coaster function, but that was about it.

On the plus side, the Hi-Tech Remote Control Kit is very responsive. I tested it out at distances ranging from as little as 1' away to as much as 30' away, and the toy was always quick to respond. I also had a friend take it in to a room about 20' away from me and shut the door behind him, and the toy still responded when I pressed the remote.

This toy is RIDICULOUSLY loud, and the sound it makes sounds especially grating. I thought I was maybe being too sensitive, but two of my friends sound-tested the vibrator and said the same thing. It buzzes at a slightly higher pitch and faster rate than most toys do, and it reminds me of a slightly-muffled blender. I could hear this toy loud and clear from behind the door when my friend and I were testing out its responsiveness, and I wouldn't be surprised if my neighbors could hear it through my dorm room's cinder block walls.

The box boasts that the Hi-Tech Remote Control Kit is "100% waterproof," but I don't know if I trust that statement. The rubber ring inside the battery compartment is rather thin and flimsy, and this toy doesn't exactly exude an aura of quality. It works fine when I run it under a tap for several minutes or dunk it in a bowl of water, but I wouldn't be surprised if extended submersion murdered the vibrator.

In the end, I just don't think this toy is worth it. There are much more attractive remote control toys out there in the same price range, so unless you want to scare somebody by leaving the vibe in their backpack and turning it on when you're 30' feet away, take a pass on this.

Considering I've just ordered my first glass toy for my personal collection, the rainbow nubby, and review the beautiful little Oui a short while ago, this tacky toy was a major let down. Yes, it's powerful, but it's also beastly loud and smells like rubber. I have much better plastic toys that can do the same job for probably half the price and with much less effort.

I managed to get off with this toy twice, but neither orgasm felt particularly satisfying. I was just so turned off by the smell and sound of this toy, and so annoyed by the lack of variety in the speeds/functions, that it felt like I was just looking for a physical release. I have no emotional attachment to this toy whatsoever, and I wouldn't even bat an eyelash if it disappeared from my toy collection tomorrow.

If you would like to see pictures of the Hi-Tech Remote Control Kit and hear it vibrating like a chainsaw in my game box, please check out my blog post on this toy and be prepared for it's chainsaw-esque singing.