The Maia is yet another attempt to reinvent the rabbit vibrator with an updated set of bells and whistles, lopping off one ear of the bunny and adding a little more bump in your bump and grind. In ditching the straddling rabbit ears, it opts instead for direct clitoral stimulation while the tip of the shaft gently twirls internally. It is pretty standard in terms of dual stimulation and the options can be configured to encourage both manual thrusting and more gentle rocking. The length is perfect for deeper penetration and boasts the stock curve of a G-spot toy.

Maia is a bit too steep in price to be worth experimentation for beginners. If you've never used a rabbit vibe, I suggest dropping money on something a little cheaper to see if it's for you before investing in something on this level.

The material alone feels silky and luxurious. As should be expected of a pricier toy, you get smooth, velvety silicone with little to no drag and no lingering smell or taste. If your pussy prefers a little more prod, you're in luck! Maia is stiffer than many toys with very little give overall. This can be problematic for women with smaller vaginas, as penetration can be pretty unforgiving compared to the much-reviled, but ultimately softer jelly toys out there. Silicone isn't always supreme! Fortunately the tip of this vibrator is slightly tapered for ease of entry to make up for the fact that it's essentially a nightstick in sex toy form.

The texture itself is lackluster and even detrimental at times. Imagine, if you will, driving your car over a speed bump in a parking lot. It's jarring and abrupt; the bumps along the shaft are more of a pain in the ass than they are pleasurable nearly undetectable when fully inserted. Color me unimpressed.

For women like myself who just can't figure out the appeal of having rabbit ears touch your clit pretty much anywhere BUT directly on your clit, the idea of a straight-forward stem extension is a godsend. The flexible silicone transfers vibrations pretty well and can be flexed to fit your anatomy, avoiding the common "one size fits one" problem of many other dual stimulation vibrators.

The vibe has plenty of length for deep stimulation and while it is not particularly girthy, the hard silicone was a little too harsh for my delicate lady-bits, even with a generous amount of lube. Budget toy-lovers making the move from jelly vibrators might find this pretty unpleasant; I know I did.

If you have any plans to travel with this as a 'discreet item', you might have an easier time smuggling a semiautomatic weapon in your bag than this bright purple, bulbous fuck-wand.

The controls are on an easy-to-use panel located at the bottom of the toy. There is an on/off button, as well as +/- buttons to increase/decrease intensity, a button to cycle vibration patterns, and an R/S button that controls the rotation of the tip.

The strength of the motor is where the snowball of disappointment really started rolling downhill. I didn't find any of the vibration patterns to be particularly enticing or strong, for that matter. This was probably the greatest disappointment for a vibrator in its price category and would have salvaged my feelings for the toy immensely. The tip rotation is utterly forgettable, so weak that it's negligible and wasn't really worth the inclusion.

The clitoral stimulation isn't bad, per se, but is difficult to pin down as you try to stay still in just the right position so you don't need to keep readjusting the stem tip. The sensations are definitely a more superficial buzz that feels reminiscent of a cheap bullet vibe. Yawwwn.

Rabbit vibes with rotating tips often suffer from the issue of sounding more like heavy machinery at a construction site in your vagina than a sexy tool for some you-time, but one point in Maia's favor is her surprisingly discreet noise level. The noise should be easily masked by a closed door and a blanket, no problem. The toy also comes with a water seal for the battery department and the electronic panel is light-up, but covered in plastic, making this vibe safe for use in and around water.

Silicone can be cared for with simple soap and water, or your favorite silicone-compatible toy cleaner. Pay extra attention to cleaning the crevices between the bubbles to ensure no surprise crusties (the worst kind of surprise!) later. Gross, right? That's not what you want.

Maia comes with a silky, stretchy purple bag for storage -- and you should use it. This baby is a lint magnet like no other and ain't nobody got time to clean all that crap off every time you want to get dirty. You have no excuse, just use the damn storage bag.

As always with silicone toys, make sure to avoid silicone lube, which will degrade the surface of the toy over time. Water-based lubes are always a safe bet.

The boxing on Maia is classy as hell! It was a nice change of pace from the expected stock image of porn models making grotesque faces and clutching their breasts, choosing instead a bright, minimalist package design more on par with PicoBong/Lelo.

There was just one minor package design failure, which was stuffing the instruction booklet in front of the toy, obscuring it when you open the cover:


Disturibngly, my box seemed to have the seal on top broken...


It warns me not to accept the box if it's open, but I live life dangerously, so I disregarded it completely and made sure to give the toy an extra scrub-down before the first use. Don't try this at home, folks!

Did I just masturbate with a billy club? I had high hopes for Maia, enchanted by the slick packaging and vibrant design, but ultimately there were just too many little faults in the design to make her really stand out. The texture was rough, the clit stem too inaccurate, and the vibrations utterly lackluster. When someone invents a rabbit vibe with a Hitachi wand stem, give me a call.