I remember my first mental encounter with this toy. I was watching Sex in the City when the girls first learned of Mr. Rabbit. I know immediately that I had to get my hands on one of these fast. I quickly got online and made my first purchase from Eden Fantasy.

I waited impatiently for a week, until that one glorious day when I received my discreet, plain, brown, package. My eyes lit up when I realized what had come. I grabbed my package and quickly ran to my room, grabbing batteries on the way. I ripped open the box, tore apart the package, and popped the batteries in. That first hum was music to my ears. I remember thinking, "This is what it's all about. This is what I've been waiting for. This is my key to ultimate happiness and satisfaction."

I quickly got to work on my insatiable desires. I inserted the rabbit into my vajay-jay expecting immediate gratification. What happened next was far from what I'd been imagining for the past week. When Jack's head hit my g spot, the rabbit ears were nowhere near my clitoris. It was impossible to line them both up. I expected serious rotation and pleasure from the pearls in the shaft, and what I was experiencing was so far from that. It didn't feel right. It hardly felt good at all. I couldn't help but think, "What's wrong with me? Am I disproportionate? This can't be right! What is wrong with me?!"

I tried over and over again and never could get both parts to hit the right spots at the same time. Reluctantly, I finally realized that this toy was not for me. I could either use it as a clitoris stimulator or as a g spot stimulator, but never as both simultaneously. I was heartbroken and sick to my stomach. All of my hopes and dreams of the perfect sex toy shattered around me. I put Jack in my drawer and gave up on the lifelong romance I had planned out in my head.

Every now and then, I still pull him out and give him just one more try, but to my dismay, he is still not what I expected. To my disappointment, one size does not fit all.