The Goddess Platinum Massager by California is a bite-sized hard plastic massager from California Exotic. She lured me in with her feminine wiles of being rechargeable, with that delicate G spot caressing curve, and her petite size that whispered the sweet nothings of a toy I could travel with.

Oh, I couldn't resist.

Don't be fooled by her charms, though--the Goddess is a bit of a tease. She measures 5" long and claims 4" insertable, but there is a plastic loop on the bottom of the insertable part, which makes her more like 3 1/2" insertable. The shape of the vibrator did not disappoint--it worked decently enough for me for internal stimulation. I suspect though that most will be frustrated by the shortness of this vibrator. If only that plastic loop were not in the way...

Which brings me to my next point--what the heck is that? A wrist strap, really? Like a camera? The wrist strap, I might add, is unrealistically small. I have very small hands and wrists and it's a tight squeeze for me. I imagine that even if someone did want to use the wrist strap, it would not work for the majority of people.

The Goddess also boasts to have seven different vibrating functions. These are, as I will affectionately name them:

1. Buzz - Medium intensity, straight vibrations.
2. Machine Gun - Quick pulses.
3. Army Mission - Quicker pulses, accelerating vibrations.
4. Alarm Clock - Slow pulses that gradually get faster.
5. Yawn - Constant vibration that gradually weakens.
6. Fanfare - Three short pulses then a longer one, gradually quickening
7. Grand Finale - Quick pulses, then straight vibrations.

This is certainly not the worst set of functions I've seen in a multi-function vibrator, but I believe that the manufacturer could have appealed to a wider audience with multiple speeds rather than multiple functions. He first function, the straight vibration, was decently pleasing for purposes of external stimulation, though some may not find the vibrations strong enough.

Let's talk about noise, too. Noise is kind of a staple of hard plastic vibrators, it's something you come to expect. You wouldn't expect a package this small to be as loud as it is, though. For that reason, my dear Goddess, I don't think we'll ever be travel partners.

Overall, this vibrator was pretty mediocre. I still enjoy the fact that this vibrator can be recharged, but that cannot make up for the serious design flaws. Oh, Goddess, I had so much hope for you.

Because it is made of plastic, this vibrator can be used with either water or silicone based lubricants. Please note though that this vibrator should not be used for anal penetration. It lacks a proper flange and could get lost in your rectum.

Another important thing to note is that you can't use this vibrator while it is plugged into the charger. If you place the charger tip into the charger port while the vibrator is on, it will immediately shut off. The vibrator also claims to hold a charge for 2 hours. The actual time mine held a charge was about 45 minutes.