My first impression of the Miracle Massager was awe at its sheer size. If you are looking for a circumspect toy, this is not going to be it. All things considered, the Miracle Massager is the size of a small, hand-held vacuum cleaner, and to some degree handles like one; although rather quiet. The handle itself is curved for comfort and is surely quite ergonomic, but it still feels like a dust buster. From what I can tell, it is mostly engine; the sheer power inherent to this feature is a little intimidating.

The Miracle Massager is beyond the capacity of batteries; I consider that an advantage. , After all, it is often annoying to keep a lot of C batteries in stock. In any case, the toy will never slip neatly into a purse or fulfill any requirement of discretion. The product description suggests it could pass off as a back massager, but it certainly looks exactly like what it is, to me anyway. It’s definitely a toy for when you have space to yourself and a lot of time on your hands.

Once I worked past the resemblance to a Dirt Devil, the Miracle Massager is my favorite toy of its kind, and very possibly my favorite ever. It is, first of all, very maneuverable. The head is very flexible, and I have yet to find a position it won't willingly swivel into. The handle is long and thick, but its curve is very well designed to move around the body. It fits my hand well and the surface is smooth but not slippery. The cord is long enough to allow plenty of movement, once you are used it. Furthermore, the Massager can even be adjusted and put left place if acrobatics happen not to be on the agenda. Hands-free operation works well too, though the versatility and intensity made me pretty impatient with that method.

I found that the Miracle Massager’s only real weak point is having just two speeds. The low setting is my favorite. When I first tried it on high, I felt my pelvic bones shaking a little. The engine is that size for a reason! Even the low setting is pretty intense, however. I would prefer more gradation between the two settings, though they are adequate.

One much more minor problem is that the engine tends to run a little hot after prolonged use, a problem once again associated more with a vacuum cleaner. However, the fact that my first (and all subsequent) uses went on for that long duration of time speaks volumes for the decidedly enjoyable properties of the Miracle Massager.