I personally believe that a girl can never have too many sex toys, especially vibrators. The first thing that caught my eye with the Luv-Touch Contour Vibe 2|Luv-touch contour G was basically the shape of the toy: it looks like a bone! It is made of good ol’ fashion plastic, firm but velvety soft, seamless, smooth, and a lovely violet purple color. It requires only 2 AA batteries that you pop into the shaft of the toy after twisting off the dial-base. When you turn left, it ignites the lowest setting, turn right, it gradually rises to the highest setting, simple enough. So far I was somewhat fond of this “bone vibrator,” but truthfully I wasn’t really sure how comfortable it would feel to have this kind of bone in my pussy. Running at five-and-a-half inches long, one inch at the base, and two inches at the tip, I worried about the possibility of it feeling awfully uncomfortable, a tad bit painful, and just plain weird. After getting past those concerns and notions, I gave this baby a whirl.

Once I began rubbing my clit to the lowest setting of the vibe, I was quite impressed at how loud and powerful it was! As I kept on turning the dial up to the last and highest setting, I kept thinking to myself “Goddamn...wow…shit!” I mean, I barely got started, and already I felt the urge to orgasm (but naturally I just had to hold back). As a clit massager, this toy is EXCELLENT; the sweet vibrations made me so horny and wet within minutes. Despite how really wet I was, I had to use extra lube because this playmate is quite thick and big. When I was good and ready, I thought my pleasure holes were gonna have quite a thrill ride, but as expected, the girth and bone-like shape of the toy made vaginal (and anal) penetration very unbearable and awkward. The thickness of the base gave way for easy hold when churning and maneuvering, but the tip is just too big, and the overall shape of the vibe neither makes penetration any easier or pleasurable. [Editor's note: please use caution with anal insertion of this toy, and a condom- it's not sterilizable.]

No matter how lubed up or aroused I was, I gently pushed and shoved the damn thing inside of me, tilting the tip left and right to ensure it was going to slide in comfortably. With much twisting and turning, I managed to get some of the tip inside, but then paused when came this not-so-arousing stretching feeling (and this is coming from a girl who generally likes a good stretch!). From then on, I just knew it was not going to fit, not just because I have such a tight little pussy, but because it was almost at the brink of being painful. After multiple tries, I just gave up, unsatisfied and disappointed.

The Luv-Touch Contour 2 is such a fucking tease. The vibrations are amazing, but the design of this vibrator is just odd, it is too thick, and internally, it’s just not pleasurable. It’s a shame really. The good news is that it is waterproof, the vibes are nearly flawless in speed and power, and overall, it doesn’t really suck all that bad, but is definitely in need for improvement. It needs to be slimmer, possibly smaller, and designed more effectively for the female anatomy. A bone shaped sex toy might have worked for women of the stone age, but not for the modern woman. I don’t love it or hate it, but I must say, I’m sure not looking forward to the Luv-Touch Contour Vibe 3.

The only arousal I got from this vibe is for clitoral and external stimulation. The vibes are strong and powerful enough to make the toy semi-versatile by turning it into a back massager, foot tickler, or for just an overall body massager that you can use with a partner for a warm-up before sex, foreplay, or role playing. Other than that, vaginal and anal penetration is pointless, painful, and awkward.