Topco's Climax Twist is...interesting. Yes, let's go with interesting. Packing two distinct toys with individual motors all in the same toy, unlike many other vibrators it has TWO chances to impress you. So if you don't love one end, the other might just win you over. The odds aren't terrible, eh? The two ends CANNOT, however, be used at the same time, as I mistakenly supposed they could. The light lavender accents on either end of the toy looked like swivel mounts to me, but apparently they are just there to pinch my flesh and generally irritate me. So if it is unclear to anyone else (although I might just be an idiot) please be aware that unless your clitoris is 6 inches above your vagina, you will not be able to use these two ends simultaneously.

By "swiveling" one end and holding the other steady, you can lock the toy into a 90 degree angle that makes it easier to hold. I think. To be honest, I personally found the 90 degree aspect unnecessary. I keep it locked in straight at 180 degrees when I use it, but for some this "swivel" feature might be more convenient. In either case, it certainly didn't detract from my experience at all. One end features a massager head coated in lavender rubber, which provides a fairly intense amount of vibration and several patterns of pulsation to your clitoris, labia, testicles, or even your aching back muscles. It is controlled by its own motor, as is the opposing G-spot end. Oh, and size kings and queens? You will NOT be disappointed by the G-spot end! This thing is HEFTY!

Material-wise, the Climax Twist is a mixed bag. The massager end features a slightly sticky but very squishy and comfortable rubber coating. I appreciate the friction provided by the rubber, as opposed to many other massagers that have hard plastic heads that slip. Rubber is also just a tad more flexible and therefore more accommodating. On the other hand, after about a week of testing (read also: daily use) the rubber was picking up my musk. At the moment, it's a pleasant rush of pheromones when you pop open the toy box, but in my experience that sweet personal fragrance becomes rather too pungent after a few months. Because it's a porous material, rubber cannot be thoroughly cleaned and rid of these odors like silicone can; therefore, it has a much, much shorter shelf life. Not to mention that fresh out of the box, rubber just doesn't smell too great.

In addition, some of the rubber accents, particularly on the insertable end, are VERY impractical. The series of sharp, seamed ridges formed from this high-friction material? Very bad call as a detail for an already unforgiving, girthy and dense dildo. The smooth, almost velvet-cote-like hard plastic of the dark purple areas on this toy were very pleasant to touch, and for external use I think ideal. But for internal use I found it very, very uncomfortable. This end was very large and very stiff, and when I finally was able to wedge the hooked tip inside of me, I was assaulted by the dildo equivalent of the no-sleep road strips on the side of highways. Both sides of the toy have these rubber ridges, and while those on the massager end won't poke you internally, they are just as hard to clean as the G-spot end's. Fluids and lube get caked in the crevices and won't come out without a toothpick and a lot of patience.

Longer than my forearm and most sandwiches available at commercial deli franchises, the Climax Twist is a bit over a foot long; it's about half that when bent at the 90 degree angle. The hooked G-spot end marks the toy's widest point at over 1.5 inches in diameter. Those numbers combined make this one less-than-inconspicuous travel companion and very difficult to explain to your house guests should they stumble upon it. It takes up a fair amount of space as well, although I find that when it is locked into its straight, 180 degree angle position, it is easiest to store. As I said before, the girth of the insertable end is not for the faint of heart, so beginners may wish to look elsewhere before taking on this behemoth.

For a toy that takes up so much room, I'm not sure what it's being used for. Only about two inches of the G-spot end are comfortably insertable, and the position of the controls makes it very difficult to adjust the speeds while it is inserted or bent. The massager tip also seems unnecessarily long, and the meandering length of this toy means more time and space for vibrations to become weak and diffuse before they reach the ended point of contact. As much as I hate to relentlessly attach a toy's design, I can't find a single high point here for this one. The Climax Twist presents one design riddle after another to me, the boomerang feature not least among them. This does not, in my experience, make this massager any easier to grip, nor does it enhance the stimulation provided in any manner.

Each end is operated by use of its own set of controls, which correspond to each end's motor. The functions for each motor are the same, as follows:

First setting: Fairly intense, continuous vibration without variation in intensity or rhythm
Second setting: Rapid pulsation, same intensity as first setting
Third setting: A rapid pulsation, followed by a low intensity, continuous vibration, followed by a higher intensity, continuous vibration. The setting cycles through these three one after another.
Fourth setting: A slow pulse, followed by a more rapid pulse, followed by a very rapid pulse. The setting cycles through these three one after another.
Fifth setting: A high intensity, continuous pulse, followed by a less intense, continuous pulse, followed by a low intensity, continuous pulse. The setting descends through intensities, then climbs back up through intensities (think ascending and descending through a scale).
Sixth setting: A staccato pulse with inflection and pauses indicated by capital letters and periods respectively: buzz buzz buzz BUZZ. (x3) BUZZ. BUZZ. The setting cycles through this pattern repeatedly.
Seventh setting: A brief interval of rapid pulsation followed by a long interval of steady, high intensity vibration.

Overall, I thought the patterns were one of the high points of this toy. A lot of vibrators come touting 7 patterns, but few of them deliver on actually delivering variety. With the Twist, I found that each of the functions were interesting and unique in their own right. Patterns such as the third and sixth pattern are seemingly random if you don't pay close attention, and I can only think to describe them in musical language. The functions are often several "phrases" long as opposed to just one, and it can take almost 30 seconds for some of them to establish a pattern. Some may find this irritating; many people, understandably, like routine and want to know what to expect with their vibes. For myself, I appreciated kicking back and being surprised by the Twist. The only real downside here is that you cannot "customize" your intensity level. A user only has access to seven presets, and while they are wonderfully varied, many enjoy just one constant vibration that is to their level of comfort regarding intensity. If you prefer this in a vibrator then you have only one option, which is the first setting; the rest are all patterns. Because the first setting will be rather intense for many users (myself included) it won't be a perfect fit for all.

The controls themselves are made of the same lavender rubber as the accents, and are easily located in the center of the toy. Each control consists of a power button which turns the toy on (to the first setting) and off, and a second button which cycles through the seven settings. The designated power button is really the only strong point here, because the rest of the control set-up is very poorly conceived. There is no lock on the controls, and I actually came home one evening to find the Climax Twist buzzing away in my lockbox. Luckily no one seemed to have noticed, but this is a potentially disastrous feature. It is only exacerbated by how responsive the buttons are the any amount of pressure. When using, I frequently accidentally bump into the buttons, turning on one half of the toy that's out of use, turning off the part that is in use, changing the settings, and have to stop what I'm doing and attempt to figure out what's going on. Red lights blink on each control to indicate use and the setting, which do help me in this task. Unfortunately, I see the problem of changing the settings or turning the toy on/off accidentally in use seems highly probably for most users, considering that the controls are located in smack dab in the middle of the vibe (where most will be inclined to grip the toy).

According to the packaging, both ends may be activated simultaneously to increase the intensity of the experience. This was not my experience, and I really only found that this made it difficult to hold onto the Climax Twist because the whole thing was rattling around like a spinning top. This vibrator is surprisingly quiet for a massager, and can be heard through a thick blanket but not very well through a door. It is not waterproof.

Because it is made of rubber and is not waterproof, the Climax Twist is a bit tricky to clean. It cannot be submerged in water, and probably shouldn't be run under a faucet because of all the not-so-air-tight spots that water can leak into and potentially damage the motors. I have cleaned this with either a warm, wet rag or toy wipes. To make your life a whole lot easier, you can also slide a condom over either end and simply toss it when you're done with your play session. Please remember that rubber is porous, meaning that it can easily absorb microbes and other nasties, and because your cleaning options are limited, this toy is not the safest for sharing. Again, your best bet if you wanted to use this with a partner would be a condom.

Hard plastic and rubber are compatible with all forms of lubricant, including water, oil and silicone bases. These materials can be safely stored with all other sex toy materials, even jelly and silicone.