The Couture Transcend Flexing Massager is a feisty little toy from California Exotics. It is designed to be used as a massager, but let's cut to the chase shall we? If it vibrates, I'm using it on my clit. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Stress chemicals do very bad things to the human body, so my philosophy is: if it gets you off, use it and use it often! With ten functions and five speeds, Transcend will definitely work out those sore muscles and relieve your tension.

I love this little guy for massages. When it comes to masturbating with it, it's great for a good tease. So, I think if you like patterns and like to be teased or are into forced orgasm play or delayed orgasm play, then this just might be the toy for you!

Provided you can figure out how to find the setting you like the most, that is.

The Transcend that I received for assignment is almost entirely bubble gum pink with a little bit of ballet pink on the neck and "shoulders". Save for the thin, plastic metal-colored ring at the base of the shoulders, it is coated in silicone.

It's soft and doesn't drag across my skin when I'm using it as a masturbator. A touch of massage oil helps the tip of the massager glide across the skin, allowing for a deep massage on those sore muscles.

There is no odor and though there is absolutely no reason to put this thing in your mouth, I can assure you there's no taste either.

As far as massagers go, this one is pretty petite. Standing tall at a whopping 7 inches, it looks like a miniature next to the Hitachi or Wahl wand massagers. You could very easily toss this into the bottom of a purse and take it with you anywhere you wish.

If it weren't for the four AA batteries needed to operate it, it would be feather-light. That being said, even with the four batteries inside, it's still light enough to not wear out your arms or your hands from use.

The flexible head is one of the best features of this toy. You can really dig in deep for massages or angle it to use with a dildo if you like to be penetrated while stimulating your clit. I can't foresee it breaking any time soon, because the neck has a ring of silicone covering it. The grooves add durability and protect the neck from being bent too far in either direction.

The silicone cap that covers the tip of the wand is removable. It has grooves on the outside but is completely smooth on the inside. If you don't like the grooves, just turn it inside out and slip it back over the tip. This is the way I use it, because the grooves can get yucky from fluids and lubes or oils.

Underneath the cap is a smooth, ballet pink tip. If you don't want to use the cap, you can remove it and just use the tip. Either way, I can't tell much of a difference with or without it except for the fact that when the tip is bare, it's a little harder to the touch than with the cap on it.

The base of the wand is contoured for your hands and is really easy to hold because of this. It is also covered in silicone so it's soft and kind of absorbs some of the vibrations so your hands don't get numb.

And this is where it gets complicated. First things first, this toy does not have memory. Heaven forbid you get interrupted and have to turn it off, because you're going to have to cycle through those functions to find that perfect setting all over again. This can be difficult because a lot of them feel the same until you're five or ten seconds into the pattern.

The controls are deceivingly simple. There are four buttons that are placed on a larger, flexible silicone piece. This control pad is backlit so that you can see the buttons in the dark, an extremely useful feature. It's difficult to change settings without looking at the base to find the correct button, as they are really close together and are indistinguishable to the touch.

The four buttons are: On/Off, Function, + and -

Each of the ten functions has five speeds or levels of intensity. The first setting is relatively mild and sort of feels like the batteries are dying. The second setting is just one step above that, there's a little more throttle in there but not much. The third setting is where things start to get intense. It's very similar to the intensity of a basic silver bullet on medium (half way up the dial). Four starts to knock your socks off and five brings orgasmic bliss in a matter of seconds. Seriously. It's less intense than the lowest setting on the Wahl wand massager but it's more intense than high on a bullet. It puts traditional vibrators to shame, that's for sure.

Functions. There are ten of them, as I've mentioned several times now. And I hate to blow my wad before the party's over but, I feel this is really important. There is not a steady vibrate setting like you would find in a traditional vibrator. Each and every function has either pulses or roller coaster patterns hidden in them somewhere.

1 - Short pulses that last less than a second with less than a second between one and the other.

2 - Second verse, same as the first. The pulses are just a little bit longer and a little more intense.

3 - Short, medium and long pulses. These range between half a second and three seconds in length.

4 - Short pulse, steady vibration, long pulse.

5 - Short increments for two to three seconds of pulses, then steady vibration, then pulses.

6 - Fast pulses, almost like a heartbeat, then steady vibrations.

7 - Short increments of steady vibration and then escalation, otherwise known as roller coaster. This setting will seriously make you think the batteries are dying because of how low the vibration gets when it's on the down stroke before it starts escalating again.

8 - Long steady vibration then roller coaster.

9 - Roller coaster. Again you'll think the batteries are dying. I promise they are not and you'll get a really intense orgasm if you hang out for a minute and just enjoy the ride.

10 - Steady vibration in long increments, short escalations, then quick and intense pulses that last for several seconds.

The toy has a significant amount of buzz to it. The vibrations are strong and deep, none of this surface vibration stuff going on here. I couldn't hear it through a closed door, so it doesn't sound like you're being invaded. But it can definitely be heard in a shared room space.

This toy is completely waterproof if you secure the cap for the battery compartment very well. There are marks on the base of the toy and the cap that you have to align or else liquids can seep into the case.

Since this toy is not insertable, you really only need to clean the cover on the tip. You can toss that into the dishwasher or boil it when you clean the rest of your silicone products.

It doesn't pick up or attract lint or anything like that, so that's not really a concern with this toy.

Spot test silicone lubes, but everything else should work quite well.

You can use the original packaging or you can just toss this into the bottom of the drawer or wherever you wish. The box it arrived in doesn't scream sex toy but it doesn't hide the fact that it is what it is when you start to read the copy on it. I'd just toss it out if you're concerned about anyone stumbling on it.

Much to my dismay, there were no instructions of any kind in the packaging of this toy. I emailed Cal Exotics for additional information and have not heard back yet. If I do get a response, I will update the information in the follow up review. I was looking for an official list of functions, but I guess there isn't one.

Toy, Silicone Cap Sleeve, Battery Compartment and Comparison with a Sharpie for scale.

Backlit display for controls. The "F" changes functions, the +/- increase or decrease speed and the other button is the power on/off.

Visual of the flexible neck.

I only use this toy during play when we're going in for a marathon session. I love to use it on the back of my thighs for massages, but when it comes down to a quick, intense orgasm I still reach for my Eden bullet. I just don't always have the time to cycle through the functions or wait for the vibrations to push me over the edge. The orgasms are intense, when I finally get there. But, I was still yearning for more. I also could have been super horny on the days that I was testing this little bugger, so your results may vary.

I think it's ultimately a two person toy or best for massaging so that you can actually see the controls. Trying to change the settings myself without looking at it was kind of a pain and I always worried I'd end up accidentally shutting it off instead of increasing or decreasing the level of intensity.

I like it, borderline love it, but I'm not head over heels for it. I'm an instant gratification kind of a person and I just don't have the patience or the want to sit through all of those patterns to find the one that will work that day. During couple play though, it's a great warm up.