I had eagerly anticipated the arrival of the Intimacy Massager by California Exotic.  It was the one of the items on my list of toys I wanted to review, and I was delighted when I found out it had been picked for me to evaluate.  With four different heads to choose from and an oscillating motion rather than vibration, who wouldn't be excited? I thought it was enough to make me overlook the fact that the heads were PeptoBismol pink. Just a personal preference, I realize, but pink just is not my color of choice in sex toys.

Now, it is true that I am something of a sex toy snob; I prefer upscale packing, quality materials, and a toy combining form and function.  The packaging of the Intimacy Massager left something to be desired, but, hey, pearls are contained inside of oysters, so I persevered.

Once I had it in hand, it felt a little on the cheesy side, not weighty enough. I opened the battery chamber and felt my mouth go slack.  What?  AAA batteries?  Give me a break.  I firmly believe all sex toys that require batteries should be mandated to use AA's.  I don't know about you, but I have piles of AA's. Sometimes shopping at BJ's or Costco sure does come in handy, but not a single AAA to be found.  Unfortunately, my daughter is no longer of the age where I can rape and pillage her toy box, remove the batteries from her robotic cat (Mommy, my kitty won't meow anymore), and get off.  I just had to wait until I could get out and remember to pick up the needed batteries.  Damn.

About a week later, batteries in hand, I inserted them into the base of the massager and I reclined on my bed, and set to work.  The Intimacy Massager has two speeds, high and low.  I went straight to high and observed the action.  Interesting.  The combination of silver plastic and pink made me think that I had stumbled across Barbie's tool box, and now held her oversized Dremel rotary tool in my hot little hands.

Part of what I like in a vibe is the ability to vary the amount of pressure against my clit.  With anything more than very minimal pressure, the oscillation totally stopped.  Damn those AAA's, they just aren't powerful enough.  I was horny and getting annoyed.  I decided to distract myself from this new frustration by trying out all the cool heads.  Surprisingly, I liked the paddle head the best; I found that the nubs and swirls did little to enhance the sensations.

After a while, not being able to vary the pressure without the thing grinding to a halt, the oscillating motion just felt irritating.  Now, this can be a plus in a D/s scene.  In fact, when I was letting it oscillate against my nipples I pictured it in the hands of a sadist dominant making me beg him to please, please stop...but when I'm trying to get myself off, irritating is just wrong.

In the end, I ended up pulling my toy box out from under my bed and finishing off with my trusty mini vibrator.  The best ten dollars I ever spent.

Unfortunately, at $32.99, this is not an extremely cheap sex toy so I can't even advocate adding it to your arsenal of sex toys solely for the novelty factor.