When the Impulse Jack Rabbit by California Exotic landed in my mailbox, my first thought was "Oooh... fun!" and that my newest toy had a great deal of potential. I played with the buttons to see just what this thing could do.

Fast... faster... fastest. Hard. Harder. Hardest. Bring it. Or as the description describes better: "three rows of non-jamming synchronized beads that rotate at six dizzying speeds. The flickering rabbit ears provide incredible clitoral stimulation with vibrating, pulsating and escalating modes. These are: 1. low vibe 2. medium vibe 3. high vibe 4. escalate 5. low pulsate 6. high pulsate 7. escalate and pulsate" Sah-weet.

After a doomed mis-start (had the flu) and a holiday, I was finally ready to try the thumping bad boy out. Batteries were good to go, I was good to go but someone forgot to tell the rabbit. It started off good. The beads were doing what they were meant to be doing, the red (and red is always good) head was doing what it was meant to do until I turned on the ears. Now, once I ran through the various levels of the ears (can I just say #7 is a grand ol' time if you can stand the pulsating rhythm) when I realized something wasn't quite right.

It turns out that as soon as my ears were turned on... the head stopped rotating. I pressed the button and all that came from it was a pathetic whine. Then the ears stopped vibrating, dying a slow, painful death. I harrumphed, changed my batteries and... nothing. I changed the batteries again... nothing. I gave the base a thump... nothing. Thoroughly put out at this point, I washed it off and left it sitting on my dresser stand to taunt me with its non-functioning self. A few days later, for no reason I pressed the button and oooh something turned on. I fetched a brand new pack of coppertops, opened the package and... sigh. Everything happened again. As soon as the Impulse went in... it died. You could feel it drain of energy as soon as the two buttons were on. If I turned off the (now not working) head the ears revved up quite nicely and I admit I ran through the 7 levels a few times but never got off because I was so mad at the toy.

What then followed really pushed the Impulse Jack Rabbit down on my list. A nice, noxious odor has begun to emanate from the jelly.

What started as a lot of potential, turned into a toy I rather loathe. Sadly no "O"s were drawn from this toy... unless "Oh shit" counts. And I don't think it does.