PicoBong's Moka is more South Beach Party Girl and Lelo's Gigi is more Southern Belle Sorority Girl, it's still pretty damn close to being the more affordable Gigi.

The flat, broad tip and the angle to the shaft make this ideal for g-spot stimulation. That same styling also makes it great for clitoral stimulation if you don't need pinpoint accuracy. Waterproof and fairly quiet, Moka can be used in a lot of situations.

Picobong toys are covered in a silicone skin just like Lelo toys are, except with Picobong there’s more silicone and less plastic. Then again, the silicone skin is merely covering up a hard plastic vibrator. And really, it’s the same for all Lelo toys. There is no plushness, no give – the entire toy is hard and rigid. So why are we even bothering with the silicone skin? Please, enlighten me.

If you wanna get technical, ABS plastic is a hard material and therefore should be less porous than the so-almost-non-porous silicone. Yes, silicone is very, very slightly porous. And since these are vibrators, you can’t boil them anyways. The silky touch to the silicone skin feels like many matte-finish ABS plastic toys, anyways. Go ahead. Pet the handle of your Mystic Wand and then your Lelo/Picobong toy. See what I mean? And in the case of many Lelo toys, a lot of gunk can get caught in the demarcation line between the silicone skin and the plastic handle. So why bother with the silicone skin? At least that aspect of the design doesn't bother me with the Moka, since the cap is the only place where there is a demarcation line and it's way up at the tip.

I read over my very old review of the Gigi and recalled why I didn’t quite love it, despite the fact that many, many women love theirs. I had 3 issues with Gigi:

1. It’s short. Too short for me. And that’s not because my g-spot is buried in the deep depths of my cavernous vagina, it is because I have big tits, a belly and short arms. The Pure Wand still remains my g-spot’s best friend in part due to the length and the extreme curve.
2. The location of the buttons was exactly where I’d rest my thumb as I held it during use.
3. The vibrations were decent and serviceable but not strong enough to matter to my g-spot.

The Picobong Moka fixes those first two complaints. The vibration strength and type is pretty much the same between Moka and Gigi. Moka is a little over an inch longer than Gigi and the head and shaft are also just slightly bigger. Picobong’s bad habit of putting the buttons on the side of their toys proved useless for their little insertable jobs but on the Moka it’s kinda genius. There is no position in which I’d hold this and accidentally hit a button.

I know that a lot of sex toy users are reluctant to drop $100 or more on a vibrator. I would be, too. And while I think that the Moka is still a wee bit overpriced, and I think it shouldn’t cost a penny over $50, it’s still a very good option for those on a bit of a budget. You’ll get the sorta-rumbly and moderately decent vibrations of the Gigi, the curved shaft and wide, flat head of the Gigi but with a little much-needed length and improved button placement. And of course you’ll need batteries (2AAA) rather than the supposedly green aspect of a rechargeable sex toy but for many people those can also be positive aspects. So long as you always make sure you have a spare pack of batteries on hand (and really, what seasoned sex toy owner doesn’t?) then you’ll never be at the mercy of waiting on a recharge.

To use the Moka, you hit the + button to turn it on and up, the – to turn it down and off, and the M to scroll through the ELEVEN different pulsation patterns. It’s ridiculous. Eleven. Who needs eleven?

It really is quiet; well, as quiet as a moderate-intensity vibrator can be. There are no weird rattles. If you own any other full-size Lelo vibrator, turn it on. That's what the Moka sounds like.

It's silicone and hard plastic, and a vibrator. Your care options are pretty limited here to using the "wipe down" method with soap and water or a sex toy cleaner. Take a little extra care though with the embossed PicoBong logo that's on the other side of the handle as the buttons - lube and such does tend to collect in there but it's not ridiculously hard to clean.

It's best to store it with the batteries separate. If you look very closely (some of us might require reading glasses or a magnifying glass) you will see a tiny teeny rudimentary etching on the white portion of the battery compartment, showing you what direction to insert the batteries. If you cannot see this, you are relegated to the trial-and-error method.

Like the other PicoBong toy I tried, the packaging is utter crap. The box is made of the most flimsy cardboard ever and you will not be able to use it for storage. There’s no bizarre dice included with the recent line of Picobong toys. No, instead they’ve changed up the cap so that it has a slightly ridged texture and at the tip of the cap is a hole for...a lanyard? Am I supposed to wear my 8 inch vibe around my neck like the even-more-perverted-and-white version of Flava Flav?

Wait, no, I think there’s something else in this mangled box. OH YES. It’s...?

Yet again, Picobong owners are forced to go to the site en mass to query “WTFISTHIS”.

It’s a cute dangle! “Perfect for your phone, keychain, or whatever clever accessory option you come up with, our PicoBong dangles are a just-for-fun addition to your PicoBong experience.” IT’S SO FUN. I DON’T KNOW HOW I HAD FUN BEFORE THIS.

So, no – I don’t hate the PicoBong Moka. This halfhearted endorsement is, however, not to be confused with an endorsement of the rest of the PicoBong line. But if you’re looking for a quality g-spot vibrator like the Gigi without the luxury pricetag, I will fully recommend the Moka. Because like the Gigi, that wide, flat tip is also pretty great for external use as well. With vibrations identical to the Lelo Mona and Gigi, just as quiet as them too, and a lower price tag it’s really not a bad deal. You’ll get the standard Lelo warranty, as well: 1 year warranty, 10 year “quality guarantee”.

I hope you enjoyed my review. Please accept my light-hearted snark with the fun and humor intended. Not everything has to be so serious! If you can handle a little more snark, feel free to check out the slightly-extended review on my blog; there are a few more photos (tip: Hover over for more fun) and an explanation as to why me "not hating" this toy is such a surprise.