This is the second Evolved product I’ve played with. The first, their Symphony Opus model, was beautifully designed and quite fun. So fun my sweetie claimed it as her own. This model, the Desire, is equally well designed, but, for me, not quite as fun.

Like all the Evolved products I’ve seen, the Desire is well-made, thoughtfully designed, and wrapped in an attractive package. This vibe is made from plastic, which makes it a very safe and body-friendly product. It is non-porous, and can be easily cleaned with soap and hot water or a rubbing alcohol wipe. Because it is plastic, it is safe to use with water, silicone, or oil-based lubricants. The surface is advertised as “sensually covered in a satin smooth coating” and is very smooth. There is a seam you can see but really can’t feel. The length (6 inches insertable) and diameter (1 ¼) made for a comfortable size. The vibe is also waterproof (for the number of waterproof toys I’ve accumulated you’d think I had a lot of shower and bathtub sex, even though my shower is generally a tool for getting out the door to work, but one likes to be prepared should the situation arise, yes?)

The control for the vibe’s three settings is a button on the bottom, which is one of the reasons this is not my favorite toy. Several times in its trial run, I ended up accidentally turning the vibe off from the highest speed at Very Inconvenient Times. This is a three speed vibe, but the lowest speed was so low I could barely feel it. The second was definitely noticeable, but the third wasn’t that much stronger. Because it is a solidly made product, the vibe is quiet, even at the highest setting.

For me, though, the main drawback of the Desire is its rigidity. It is a hard, solid vibe, with absolutely no give. The top of the vibe rises to a point, and the combination of the stiff body and pointy top became uncomfortable when I tried thrusting it with any force. While the curves of the design felt nice sliding in and out (I found a little lube necessary for this), when inserted at full length my cervix began to complain. I think I’ve become happily accustomed to various rounded silicone options in my tool bag, and didn’t like how this vibe could not conform at all to my body. I’d be quite hesitant to use it at all if any significant body motion was involved (I invite your experience or imagination to consider the possibilities of this), as I’d worry about the vibe causing pain or bruising.

This vibe looks so fine that I keep opening up the box to take it back out. The surface is very smooth, and I'm very appreciative of the lack of plastic smell. Yet I still don't like how completely hard and unbending this vibe is. While the texture of the ridges is interesting, this isn't enough to get the vibe into my ordinary rotation.

The hand-lathed front porch/stair railing design element makes the vibe very homey. Leaves me wondering what other common household design elements could be incorporated into sex toys. Gingerbread-trim style leather harnesses? Crown molding dildos? Stand mixer bread dough paddles paddles? Miniature garden rakes for keeping pubic hair lint free? Antique brass keyhole cover nipple rings? Could make home design trade shows a lot more interesting....