First, I will briefly explain my sexual dysfunction, as I feel that my description may be helpful to other people with pelvic floor dysfunction who are thinking about buying dilators. I have had pain in the front of my vagina during penetration which was determined by a specialist to be soreness in my pubocervical fascia, the connective tissue between the vagina and the urethra. I have limited myself to tiny toys for years because anything more than one inch in diameter would irritate the tissue. I drew a diagram (that looked a lot cooler in my head). On the left is how I believe a healthy ciswoman would enjoy penetration, and the one on the right represents my situation.



The toy was designed by Dr. Laura Berman (not to be confused with Dr. Laura Schlessinger), a reputable OBGYN who frequently appears on TV. The cardboard box has a lengthy description of Dr. Berman's career but no instructions! While reading about Dr. Berman's qualifications made me believe that the toy would be able to help me, instructions would have been really nice. Fortunately, I was able to eventually figure it out.

The screw-top controls, hard plastic and the nondescript shape of the vibrators reminded me of the cheap little vibes I used to buy at the mall as a teenager. Like those cheap toys, I could have used this set purely for clitoral stimulation, although I have moved on to bullets as an adult. The lilac color is not hideous but it's not especially pretty.

The set includes 4 insertable dilators that interlock and pile on top of each other (it reminded me of Russian nesting dolls). For convenience, I refer to each one by number from now on:

#1. Diameter: 0.75" or ~2 cm (attached to the main vibrator)
#2. Diameter: 1.0" or ~2.5 cm
#3. Diameter: 1.25" or ~3.2 cm
#4. Diameter: 1.5" or ~3.8 cm

The first time I used it, I lubed up with Good Clean Love, turned on the vibrator by turning the proximal dial and turned it up to just a low purr using the distal dial (which is difficult if your hands are covered in lube), and gently inserted #1. It felt fine so I turned the vibrations up as far as they would go to a fast buzz. I pressed the tip of the toy up against the anterior wall of my vagina, where I have pain. It hurt a little bit, as expected, but the vibrations were soothing. I pressed it against every painful spot until I felt no more pain.

I had planned to only use #1 the first time but I felt I needed a bigger vibrator to cover more "area" on the painful anterior wall, so I clicked on #2. Number 2 was an easy fit. I was very pleasantly surprised. Again, I pressed it into painful spots until the pain subsided and then grew curious about #3.

To my delight, #3 also fit inside me. Since it covered more surface area on my vaginal wall there was no pain but I found it therapeutic. Number 3 bumped against my cervix a little bit so I had to take care not to hurt myself. I finally knew what it was like to feel pleasantly full. The clear TPR sleeve fit on top of #3, so I tried it. I have not had luck with nubby textures; I usually find them painful. Even with a lot of lube, this bumpy sleeve was no exception.

Finally, my attention turned to #4. I have never been able to insert a toy with a diameter of 1.5". I covered it in more lube and tried to insert it. It was acutely painful but I left it in with low vibration and kept pushing in deeper until I felt I'd had enough. I could feel my bulbospongiosus muscle (Kegels) stretching and I did not want to injure it. After years of struggling to find little toys I felt very proud, almost as proud as getting a straight-A report card as a kid. I felt like it was a milestone.

After inserting #4, I felt like this accomplishment would not be worthwhile unless I was successfully able to insert another toy. I broke out my Feeldoe Slim (a misnomer, in my opinion, with a diameter of 1 3/8") and inserted the shaft, which had been very painful on previous attempts. It went in smoothly. I could not wait to tell my girlfriend!

Like any exercise for any part of your body you will need to push yourself. But be careful not to push yourself too far. If it's uncomfortable, proceed gently. But if it's painful, stop! Don't forget to use the vibrations on your clitoris to help make the whole experience more enjoyable!