Time for a fact check. Illusion? No, I don't think I was imagining that thing buzzing manically in my vagina. Wand? Um, I guess so, if we are in a Disney movie. Rapturous? Well, I wouldn't go that far.

There is nothing especially innovative about the Illusion Wand Rapture|Illusion wand rapture - Vibrator by California Exotic. It's covered in rubber cote, which I'm a sucker for, so it has a soft finish over its hard plastic. It's 7 1/2 inches long, average sized in both length and girth. It takes 2 AAs, easily inserted into a circular hole in the end. It's waterproof, but aren't they all these days?

So I didn't expect what happened when I first turned on the vibrator. I pressed the button on the base, and boom—the vibrator was pulsating, very loudly. Three different ways. First slow, then faster, then fastest. Apparently constant vibration is not important enough to be first anymore!

In all, this vibrator has five vibration modes, accessed by pressing a cushy button on the base. It's always a challenge for me to describe strange vibration patterns, but I feel this burning requirement to do so. The second mode is a mix of pulsation and bouts of constant vibration. The third mode is fast pulsation. The fourth is, finally, constant vibration. And the fifth is John McCain: more of the same constant vibration. It doesn't feel any more powerful, either.

Sadly, all of the modes vibrate at the same intensity, and it is a strong one. Let it be known: there will be no build up with this vibrator. You cannot slowly coax yourself into sexy time with it. You must already be engrossed in the moment and ready for something strong—and loud. Not jackhammer loud, but loud enough to get on your nerves a bit.

I'll admit, though, that the shape is quite nice, even if I've seen/felt it before. I knew the small bulb at the end would feel great on my clit, and it did. Nestling the groove against my clit felt predictably good too. The smaller head makes for smooth entry, and when I thrust with it, the larger bulbous shaft stimulated my vaginal walls nicely.

But it was really hard for me to ignore the buzzing. Not only aurally, but also physically. The vibration was too much for my insides, and the buzz was too loud for my ears. So I turned the vibrator off (after clicking through all the modes, argh) and used it as a non-vibrating dildo. That was more enjoyable, simply because of the peace and quiet.

...Oh, who am I kidding? I was still willing to deal with the sound of my Xtreme pack G-spot bullet buzzing on my clit. Priorities, my friends.

As far as water-faring goes, this vibe definitely succeeds. Since the base screws on very tightly against the O-ring, I have confidence that the vibe really is waterproof. In a very scientific test my boyfriend and I conducted, he reported that he couldn't hear the vibrator through the door of the bathroom while the shower was running. And when I unscrewed the base afterward, everything inside was dry. If nothing else, this vibe would be good to keep around for a quick masturbation session in the shower.