The Venus Penis is a harness style vibrator, which is supposed to allow you to move around freely while being a little naughty. It attempts to be a clitoral stimulator, but design flaws may make it fall short of that for some.

You should be able to walk around the room with ease thanks to the harness straps, but unless you waddle wide legged more than walk, I don't think it works out.

Honestly, I can't even think of a good occasion to use this toy after having tried it, because there isn't one.

The Venus Penis is made out of jelly - it can not be sterilized, it is porous, and it should not be shared between people without a condom (unless you are in a fluid bonded relationship). The VePe has some ribbing along the shaft, but I didn't find it to be noticeable during use, so it probably would not make a difference if it wasn't there. Straight out of the package, it has a typical jelly smell (I found it slightly stronger than others, but not horrible) but I found it lessened after a quick wash before use. I imagine that with time, the smell would dissipate more. I did not taste it, but I am willing to bet it has a taste like most other jelly toys.

Though this toy is jelly, I found it to be harder than other jelly toys. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but I believe this causes a major issue in comfort which I will discuss next section.

The design is rather hilarious, as is with most of the strap on vibes. It is a butterfly, wings spread, with an amusingly out of scale penis smack dab in the middle of its body. The shaft is rather short, just enough for shallow vaginal penetration. It is also slightly tapered with some subtle ridges along the one side of the shaft - however, since this toy is not really designed for thrusting, I find that the ridges are mostly pointless. There is a nubbed end on front and back to act as stimulation, with the anal stimulator being slightly longer than the clitoral one. Outspread wings are supposed to help vibration travel along the labia (keyword, supposed). The Venus Penis is wired to a hand remote (so take care not to pull the cord too hard).

The main attraction of this was the fact that it's a harness set up, with one waist strap and two leg straps (all are attached via the tips of the butterfly wings). Each strap has snaps on it for ease of wear, and they are adjustable like a bra strap. I'm not sure how these straps compare to other similar toys, but I found this ones to be awful in terms of comfort and design. For one, the straps didn't hold the toy in place properly. Secondly, I believe that the snaps on the straps themselves are put on in a way that makes attachment uncomfortable and awkward: instead of simply being able to wrap a leg strap around and snap it as is, you have to bend the end of the strap upside down because the lip part is facing the wrong side. This makes the straps constantly feel like they're twisted, and it adds an uncomfortable bulk at the attachment point. I also found the straps painful after a few minutes because the elastic is not very soft.

My main problem with the design of this toy apart from the straps, is a cross between the material and the design itself. I mentioned that the jelly seemed harder than most - the way the wings are molded makes them rounded on the outside, but flat on the side touching you. It's not a continuous rounded mold, so there is a sharp edge along each wing. While other reviewers didn't seem to have a problem with the overall shape of the toy, I personally found the wingspan too wide to sit comfortably between my legs. Maybe I just have a smaller valley between my legs. The too-wide wingspan and its sharp edges only served to hurt my inner legs as soon as I put it on.

The Venus Penis is controlled by a wired hand remote with a slide wheel to change intensity. The transition between intensities is smooth, allowing for a gradual increase and decrease between vibration power. The highest vibration is pretty intense! However, I don't find that the vibration is centralized enough to any one area to do much good. Since it's spread equally among the toy, I personally don't find it good for clitoral stimulation or vaginal. The anal stimulator may as well not be there since the toy doesn't sit quite right.

If you don't need super localized vibration and don't have any issues with the toy fitting properly where it should, the Venus Penis will probably be a good toy for you. However, I got nothing out of it but a lackluster performance.

The only blessing of this toy is that it is super, super quiet. Under covers, it is virtually silent even on its highest level.

Care for the Venus Penis is generally the same as any other toy. Wash it before use and after use with warm water and a mild antibacterial soap, or use a toy cleaner. It might require a little effort to clean because it has some nooks and crannies, but I didn't find it too difficult compared to something like a more textured glass toy.

Storage would best be in its own pouch, if only so the harness straps don't tangle up.

A water based or silicone based lubricant should be just fine on this toy if needed (though the short shaft negates any real need for lube).

This package is not discreet at ALL! The box features a woman legs spread, showing off her prized Venus Penis in action. Unless your household has pancake boxes with nude models on them, it is safe to say you probably don't want your grandmother or room mate finding this.

Inside the box, the toy is simply wrapped in a plastic bag. No padding, no bells and whistles, and noooo directions. While I figured out the straps quickly, it would still be nice to at least have some rudimentary diagram of how to wear it so you don't need to eyeball the box.

The box is not at all worth keeping for storage since it's a tad unnecessarily large, so just put it out in the recycling bin.

Other people seem to have had great experiences with this toy, so I'm not sure if it's just my body that makes it awkward for me to use. Either way, the design flaws on this stood out so much to me that I would have a hard time recommending this toy to anybody I know. If I'm scraping to find a silver lining, at least it was an inexpensive let-down.

If I were the goddess Venus, I would be embarrassed to have my name attached to this.

I bought this toy because I wanted to try out a harness style vibrator, and the idea of being able to walk around the room with a toy buzzing away sounded hot. I didn't mind the material since I don't really have a favorite, and it had some good reviews...I figured it'd be great! When the box came, I was excited to try it out - I unwrapped it super fast, washed it, fandagled the straps a bit and...

disappointment. I couldn't get the straps to sit comfortably while also holding the toy properly. The toy sat funky, the wings don't even reach my labia when it's inserted! They just sit there out of reach, poking their sharp edges into my thighs. I figured I couldn't give up yet, so I tried walking around a bit with it.

Even worse than before :(. It is so unpleasant. The toy doesn't "fit", and it is impossible to walk normally and comfortably with it on. I gave up any dreams of sexy catwalking with the VePe, and headed to the bed. If I'm laying down, it has to be okay, right? Also wrong. I couldn't get vibration to sit properly anywhere on me, and I couldn't even keep my legs in a normal position because the wings and straps were cutting into me. I had to lay with my legs wide open, which I have never had to do with any of my toys (even ones that are similarly shaped to this one). I tried to enjoy it regardless, I really did. I just laid there desperately playing with the vibration and trying to adjust my hips and the toy to no avail. I couldn't get off at all. Even if I could find a position that it worked for me, the fact that I have to resort to laying down when I wanted a handsfree walk about toy is utterly disappointing and renders this toy useless.

I tried to give it a second chance a little while ago by doing the pillow trick some reviewers mentioned - strapping it to a pillow and basically mounting the toy. It did not help at all. While it solved the problem of the wings cutting into my legs, it didn't solve the problem of the vibrations not being localized enough in any one area to get me off. To make matters worse, the vibrations were absorbed by the pillow. Yet again, I left this toy feeling both unsatisfied and disappointed.

I wanted to try something new, and it just didn't work out. I think the Venus Penis may be going to that big trash heap in the sky.