Holy hell. I've wanted a fantastic remote vibrating egg for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, they're incredibly hard to find for two reasons:

1. The truly remote (read: cordless) ones tend to be very very expensive both in terms of purchase and in terms of batteries (they often use watch batteries, which go fast and are costly to replace)

and

2. It's hard to find a regular egg that works for me. I really wanted to love the Egg Ecstasy but if you remember my review, it didn't quite rev me up as much as it tickled me senseless. Fun (mostly for the boy with the power of the remote in his hand) but not altogether sexy-licious.

Thus, I come to this review with a hardened eye (and attitude) toward eggs. Enter: Bliss, the truly remote egg from California Exotics' Couture Culture line (I should also add a caveat here for full disclosure: I have found myself not loving California Exotics' toys lately -- I've just had too many in a row that were not what I was looking for).

So, this toy was a delicious surprise in more than one way. I truly just have two words for this egg: YUM & YES.

Here's why:

1. It's shiny to look at. Like ooh-la-la. Not just the egg itself, but also the base and the lights and the hand-held remote. Mine is a very pretty purple, not too pastel, not too garish. Delish to look at. The base is heart-shaped and it's so pretty that it now has a permanent place on the dresser, next to the most sexy of glass anal toys.

2. It's rechargeable. Okay, not the remote hand-held (it takes one battery), but the egg itself is rechargeable. It charges fast and fully and we got a whole ton of uses out of a single charge. Plus, did I mention that it looks pretty sitting on the dresser in its heart-shaped, pretty-lighted charger?

3. It feels nice. Not only does the egg itself feel good -- its surface is soft and smooth, without any noticeable seams -- the vibrations run the gamut from The Quick & the Fast to UpDownUpDown to RAWR! There was not a single bit of ticklishness involved -- it was all pleasure all the way. The egg is larger than many eggs I've tried -- not in length so much as around -- so you'll want to make sure you use lots of lube. The good news about the size (at least for me) is that once it's in, it stays in. There's no worry about it popping out onto the floor or anything like that. (However, I should add that it's not so large that you won't be able to play around with DP options, if that's at all up your alley).

4. The remote has got some reach. The wireless works around corners, through walls, through bodies, and pretty much all over the house. It says on the literature that it goes 17', but I think it might actually be farther than that.

5. It's got some variety. I mentioned the vibration options already -- they're very easy to use. One button turns the remote on and off (you have to hold it for a few seconds) and the other button cycles through the vibration options.

6. It's quality. As I mentioned before, I've gotten more than a bit grumpy about toys that aren't good quality -- this toy is well-made in every aspect. The egg is seamless and solid, and the string that's attached to it is simple, well-placed and easy to wash with the rest of the toy. The remote is small (perhaps a bit too small -- see my note in the experience section), but it's simple and easy to use.

I'm totally giving this egg five stars -- the only two things I could think of to make it better would be to have the remote control also plug into the charger, and to possibly make the remote slightly larger. It works well for The Boy, but he has small fingers. It might be hard for someone with large fingers to hold onto and navigate (although if they're used to texting, it shouldn't be an issue). On the other hand, the remote is just perfect to slip into a pocket for out-of-the-house play.

I love this toy. Did I mention that already? I think I did.

So imagine my sadness to arrive home and see The Boy folding laundry. No, it wasn't the laundry-folding that made me sad -- it was his first words to me.

"Okay, I know this sucks but... I accidentally washed the egg remote. It was in my pocket." And there, on the bed, sat the poor bedraggled little remote, battery removed, looking far too clean and soggy. "Let's just dry it out and see if it works," The Boy suggested. "And if it doesn't, we'll save up and buy a new one."

I am pretty sure I wailed. I definitely know that I cried. Finally, a remote egg to love and now it was dead...

But, behold, like an Easter miracle: A few hours later, we tried out the remote and to our delight, found that it still worked. What. the. hell?! But I wasn't about to question a miracle. Okay, so it doesn't have quite the remote reach that it did before and it can't go through walls anymore, but I am seriously impressed (and, if truth be told, delighted) that it survived at all.

Still love this. So so so much. It's become one of my favorite toys. Good for all kinds of play! The only drawback, still, is the battery for the remote control but only because it's expensive to keep replacing it! :)