Ding Dong, Ditch it...

This toy is a bust. Don't waste your money on it. I give kudos for the good idea, but it just won't stay on your tongue. Its main function is, well, dysfunctional.
Published:
Pros
-Cool idea
-Awesome texture
-Good vibrations for such a small bullet
Cons
-Doesn't fit at all
-Doesn't last long
-Gets really dirty (and not in the good way)
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

This crafty little device is meant to enhance oral with your partner. However, I find it to be a disappointing product. First, I'd like to say that a dinger is a great idea. It's a fun and exciting way to take things up a notch when giving or receiving oral. Second, I'd like to say that this dinger is, at best, frustrating. Don't bother with this little failure unless you're absolutely desperate to try it. The vibrator is good for stimulation, but it simply won't stay in place when you put it on your tongue. I thought maybe it was just me, but anyone who has tried it out is saying the same thing. This toy is great for people who don't read reviews, but that's why it's a good thing you're reading this review.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Oral
    • Sensory play
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

The casing on the dinger is made out of TPR Silicone, so it feels like a jelly toy. It's very sticky and picks up a lot of gunk and lint, which is not desirable for a toy that goes in the mouth. It has a slight rubbery smell. TPR is hypoallergenic, nontoxic, and phthalate free.
It has a knobby, bumpy texture on the outer side where you would be stimulating your partner, and low little bumps on the inner side that are supposedly there to help keep the dinger in place on your tongue. The ring, which goes around your tongue, has little ridges all the way around and two little balls at the bottom. Despite my best effort to work with these textures to help keep it on, they just don't help. The bullet on the inside is smooth plastic.
    • Bumpy
    • Light odor
    • Sticky

Design / Shape / Size

While it looks cool, and I'm sure it would feel good if it stayed on my tongue, the ring that goes around the tongue is way too stretchy. I'm not sure how to remedy this problem, but it just does not work. The switch is easy to turn on and off, but it is not so easy that you would accidentally bump it and switch it. The bumps on the exterior feel great, but they are kind of pointless when the toy can't be used for its original purpose. It is very small, but it's still really round and cumbersome inside my mouth. I think it would be easier to work with if it were flatter. Because it is so small, it is really easy to hide or carry with you.
    • Discreet
    • Strong

Functions / Performance / Controls

Other than putting it on my tongue, this product is pretty easy to use. The switch is easily located and turned on and off. The vibrator itself seems to be pretty strong. When I put it on a flat surface, it dances around in a circle.
The vibrations can be felt throughout the dinger, and it can be stimulating for both the person giving and receiving attention. It's whisper quiet, so no worries about making too much noise (with the vibrator, that is). It's safe with liquids too, which is good since it's in your mouth!
It will drain batteries or overheat quickly, so you have to monitor how long you use it. It takes 3 watch batteries, but once this thing runs down, I won't even worry about replacing them. It isn't even worth the price of the batteries.
    • Battery guzzler
    • Discreet sound
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

This little thing needs to be cleaned a lot because it picks up lint, hair, and other gunk you don't want in your mouth or on your junk. Simply rinse it off in warm water (I wouldn't submerge it. I know it can get wet, but I'm not sure how wet) and air dry it. You'll want to wash it off afterward too, since it's been both in your mouth and on someone else's body. It's TPR, so it's less porous than cyberskin but still more porous than regular silicone. You don't want to swap it with partners. I recommend using a dental dam or other barriers to keep it clean. You should only use water based lubes.
    • Easy to store
    • High maintenance

Packaging

It comes in pretty cheap packaging: a piece of cardboard with clear plastic holding it down. You can tell that it's a cheap novelty toy that isn't really high performance.
    • Cheap
    • Not discreet

Experience

Trying to use this toy with a partner was a complete disaster. We were both excited to try it, but when the time came to give it a whirl, it just kept falling off or getting twisted around my tongue. Both of us ended up putting more effort into making the dinger work than actually having fun, so we decided to give up on it and just enjoy ourselves. I've tried a few more times to readjust it or position it differently but to no avail.
Follow-up commentary
Well, by now the dinger is ding dong dead and I still didn't get any effective use out of it. There may be other ways to use it, but honestly, there are better options for this little piece of disappointment.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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This review was edited by
  • Buttercup Green Contributor: Buttercup Green
  • Rank:
    6.5 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 213
Comments
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  • Contributor: KateQ
    Great review! From reading other reviews out there it seems like it might function slightly better as a cheap cock ring or finger vibe, but that you'd be better putting your money towards a toy that does what it's designed to do.
  • Contributor: Rossie
    Thanks for the review. I didn't even know there's a tongue vibrator until I've read this review!
  • Contributor: Mia.The.Wonder.Slut
    That's really what it boils down to! Too bad, too. I think a tongue dinger would have made an excellent addition to my collection.
  • Contributor: susansmith2012
    thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: SparklyGlitter
    great review
  • Contributor: ksparkles16
    Great job!
  • Contributor: Jimbo Jones
    So it doesn't work in one's mouth, but I imagine that would be very difficult to get right, but does it work wrapped around fingers or something like that? Thanks for the great review.
  • Contributor: A.Mari
    Great review, ty
  • Contributor: Curiouscat
    Sorry it didn't work out for you. It looks so strange, thanks for reviewing!
  • Contributor: Mia.The.Wonder.Slut
    @Jimbo Jones: You can use it on your finger, or even like a cock ring if you want. Unfortunately for me, I didn't want another toy for those purposes, which is why I was so disappointed. However, a lot fo other reviewers have said that they made the best of it by using it any other way they could.
  • Contributor: Beneath The Bed
    Awesome review.
  • Contributor: GONE!
    Thanks for the review.
  • Contributor: Snoelle
    thnks 4 the review!
  • Contributor: Do emu
    Awesome review, thank you!
  • Contributor: sweetpea12
    Thanks for the great review!
  • Contributor: OrangeKushBB
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: Retro.old
    Thanks for the great review!
  • Contributor: Tbanda
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: (k)InkyIvy
    Really wonderful review! Thank you for taking the time and making the effort to be so thorough!
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