Upon first looking at this toy, a little voice inside your head says, "What is the best use for this toy?" and another little voice says, "Lookit them clit nubbins! Yowza!" You then start fantasizing about how good it's gonna feel to have that wonderful, soft and squishy dildo inside of you while that little attachment cups your clit and massages it. You pour yourself a glass of wine...or Bailey's, or apple juice, whatever your preference...and go to town.

Unfortunately, if you're me (and I assume many other people), upon putting even mild pressure on the "nubbin cup," it immediately breaks off. I didn't use this toy that hard - trust me, I have used toys hard, and a tough lovin' this was not - and it still broke within the first 5 minutes of using it. The piece attached to the top snapped clean off.

The material of the dildo itself is actually really pleasant feeling, and I would love to continue using this toy. Unfortunately, because the piece broke there is now a patch of exposed silicone at a point that would definitely interact with my bodily fluids, and I'm not too thrilled about mixing silicone-chemicals with my sensitive parts.

Additionally, it's "realistically shaped," but doesn't actually hit your g-spot. Well, at least it didn't hit mine. If your g-spot is a straight shot through your vagina and doesn't require you to move in any direction at all, it will probably hit it for you. I don't know anyone like that, but if you've got that layout, I suppose it'll be like Christmas and your birthday at the same time.

I assume this toy would work for everyone that likes simultaneous g-spot and clitoral stimulation, if it worked at all, which unfortunately it did not.

The material feels great. I wish more of my toys intended for penetration felt like this. However, the texture is NOT worth it for the atrocious smell that leaks out the second you open the package. It smells like silicone. There's no disguising it. It's the exact opposite of sexy, and nothing about the way it reeks says, "Do me!" The texture adds stimulation if you don't have the capability to smell anything. Otherwise, get a clothespin.

Like I said: the design would be great...if it functioned for its intended purpose. The size is great (probably for mildly advanced users as it's a little big for my comfort level), but it's not huge enough that you can't hide it. It's totally not at all discreet, as it looks like a dildo with "clit nubbins" (as my ladyfriend awkwardly named it), but that's really not its purpose. That might be the one thing it doesn't fail at, other than being purple.

The nubbins are way far back, so you have to be penetrated pretty deep in order to even make contact. Once you make contact with it, you kind of don't know you've done so because it's a) flexible, b) poorly shaped, and c) the vibrations barely make it through the toy up to the nubbins. It feels like it's barely vibrating, even when it's on the highest setting - which, by the way, is incredibly loud. After I turned it on for the first time my roommate and I had a good laugh, because she stood in the kitchen and I went into my room, closed the door, and turned on the toy. Her immediate response was, "REALLY?!" It's a little absurd.

It feels decent once it's vibrating and it's in you, but I can't get off from internal stimulation alone and the clit part did nothing for me. I had to use another vibrator with it just to feel like orgasming was a potential event at some point in the future, and at that point I was so fed up that I didn't even want to get with myself anymore. And then it broke, which pretty much clinched that idea. Bad news, kids.

Vibrations are located in the tip of the toy, which feels good, but I'm curious as to why it really vibrates in the body of the toy if there's a clit-stimulation piece attached to it. You'd think that would be where it would be smart to vibrate. But HA. You would think incorrectly. The best function of this toy is using it as a dildo, unless you feel like you're also going to get chemical poisoning - as I felt I was going to. Unless that's a turn-on for you. Then you'll be in heaven, I suppose.

It's waterproof, but I couldn't tell you how it performs. I assume if it doesn't perform on land, it's not gonna perform in the ocean.

And it sounds like a mini-jet plane. I'll take that with the Hitachi, because it gives me skyrocketing orgasms. This just gave me anxiety.

Again, it's a little hard for me to properly review the care and maintenance of this toy, as I am currently taking care of it by storing it in my trash can. That's temporary, because after this Tuesday evening it's going to be stored in a bag on the curb, until it travels and gets stored at the county dump. I'm sure it will be well-cared for.

If this toy lasts through your use, it doesn't seem like it would be impossible to care for, but I'm not sure there's any way to get the smell out - which is a pretty big concern for me when I'm cleaning toys. It smelled to begin with, so my primary concern would be knowing when it's actually clean. Also, the nubbins have space in between them that could easily collect bodily fluids, bacteria...cat hair...whatever's lying around your house, really, and I imagine because of their porous, sticky texture it would be pretty hard to get stuff out of them. Which - again - is not really a turn-on for me.

I don't love packaging that shows a "sexy" lady on the front, half-naked, skinny, with giant fake breasts and a face to match. It doesn't do anything for me. Also, I'm not heterosexual, and that's a pretty heterosexual model of attractiveness. I like toys that are made for people like me, with bodies like mine (or at least an appreciation of non-"standard" bodies). This toy's clearly NOT for biological, heterosexual males, yet the girl on the front looked like an advertisement for a "Gentleman's Club" on the side of I-95. What's the point? Advertise the toy, not some random woman's body.

Dislike. Unimpressed. Would not recommend. Smells bad. Broke easily. Didn't vibrate hard. Couldn't get me off. Anything else?