The Cone isn't a just a sex toy. It's an experience. Twisted Products, the manufacturer behind this revolutionary object, created a vibrator suited to extend sexual pleasure beyond intercourse. Meant to be enjoyed while preparing for a date, during dinner, or really during any event that requires a chair (fun fact of the day is that the Cone started off as an S&M chair), the Cone will provide stimulating vibrations to inspire you throughout the workday, and into the night. Hard-core Cone users can even connect with each other in the cone zone, a feature on the Cone's website.

The Cone: Uniting sexual enthusiasts one click at a time since 2007.

But the Cone isn't a one-trick pony. In fact, it has 16 different tricks, commonly referred to as "programmes." Hey, it's a British toy. And the 16th program is deemed "orgasm mode," which most will find pleasurable/orgasmic. This toy cannot be inserted (at least past the tip), however feel free to use it to stimulate your backside or vagina (be sure to clean it between anal -> vaginal uses).

But that's not all!

This toy doubles as a:
- clitimulator
- chair (for him/her)
- recliner

You can use it while:
- on the way out
- leaning against a wall
- doing the bed wriggle
- performing conelingus or conefelatio

And it can assist in:
- the lunge
- the lotus
- the cone dog
- the coneduo

[list paraphrased from Using the Cone]

Until I bought this toy I never realized how much I needed a vibrator while reading a book or surfing the internet. It's a good thing that the good people at Twisted Products solved these problems that I didn't know I had!

The Cone is made of smooth phthalates-free silicone. It does have a slight scent, but it's only noticeable when you stick your face to the product.

The Cone's smooth texture ensures comfort during longer uses. I've sat on the cone for about 1.5 hours without any discomfort. Its surface also transmits the vibrations from the different programs very nicely.

The Cone is famous for its simplicity. With its sleek packaging and modern design, the Cone is appropriately named after its most defining characteristic. Here are the measurements of the Cone according to the EF website:

Length: 6"
Circumference: 6"
Diameter: 2"
Weight: 1.5 lb

Additional details from the manufacturer's website include:
Motor: 3 Volt, 3000rpm gold brush motor
Frequency up to 30Hz.

Storing this toy can be problematic, given that it's in the shape of a Cone. I bought a Zomi case by Liberator which zips the Cone right up. The case is then placed on the shelf in my closet. Gutsy users could leave it out on a table or desk as a display piece. Although the Cone is ubiquitous in the sex toy world, most Americans are probably oblivious to its purpose. Unfortunately keeping the Cone in plain view is also a distraction during those busy periods!

The Cone is small enough to be considered portable yet large enough to deliver vibrations over a substantial three dimensional space. It can be your companion downstairs for the Evening News, and your dirty surprise in the bedroom after dark.

The Cone is operated via two buttons located by the base. In case you miss them, they are outlined by... you guessed it... a cone. If there was any ambiguity, the words "the cone" are embossed below them (which can be helpful in case you forget the name of this magnificent piece of art work).

Press and hold the right button for 2 seconds to turn the Cone on. The left button cycles through the 16 programs. Unfortunately this button only cycles forwards to the next program (ex from program 2 to program 3). There is no way to cycle backwards. The left button takes the Cone directly to orgasm mode! This is very helpful especially if you're on mode 3, and you're ready to come. When finished, hold the right button for 2 seconds until it shuts down.

I am sad to report that there is no way to tell which mode you're on, unless you're keeping a tally sheet. It is very frustrating because I'll think to myself oooh I like that one, and then I don't know what mode I'm in. I also don't know the modes well enough to tell you my favorite. But I can tell you that it involves intermittent pulsing.

Finally I want to comment generally on the 16 different programs. Unlike traditional vibrators, each program is semi-unpredictable (at least until you get used to the product). Stay on each mode for at least one minute, because there may be some special surprises. While all programs are cyclic in nature, they are not necessarily as predictable as the programs on traditional vibrators. Most will appreciate the engineering and ingenuity of this feature.

If you want to play with a virtual Cone, you can go here, and click on "virtual cone!". You can even hear the complexity of the individual vibration settings. It's a cheaper, albeit less fun, alternative to the real thing.

The manufacturer suggests using your favorite toy cleaner for sanitation. Make sure to spray and wipe this toy multiple times to ensure cleanliness. It might also help to dry the toy with a hand/paper towel before spraying the toy cleaner.

I found that cleaning the Cone can be tricky. I can't recommend rinsing this toy because I would be worried about water getting into the battery area. And the Cone is definitely not waterproof. So I would air on the side of caution when introducing any liquids around this toy.

Since the Cone is made of silicone, it is only compatible with water based lubricants. However I warn that dousing this toy in lube will create an awful mess since you have to wipe the lubricant off manually. I learned this the hard way of course. Cleaning up residue = no fun.

True to its simplistic nature, the Cone came in a pink cardboard cone-shaped wrapping. It was very modern and I felt very sad about throwing it away. Alas, it had to be done. I don't remember what was on it, but if you are interested you can visit the [https://www.conezone.info/about_cone/design.asp|virtual cone} and unwrap one for yourself!

The user manual is fantastic, describing many plausible and comical uses for this device. All of the information from the pamphlet and the box is available on the {https://www.conezone.info/about_cone/design.asp|manufacturer's website}.

I want to devote this space to my recommendation (or lack-of?) of the Cone to beginners.

The Cone is a fabulous toy. However it is difficult to tailor the vibrations of the Cone to your specific needs. Yes there are 16 different programs. And yes I made a pretty big deal about this in my review. But it is possible that the different vibration settings could actually be a distraction to your orgasm. As a beginner, I believe that you will find this product pleasurable, but it might not send you over the edge, especially if you've never had an orgasm before and you don't know how or where to pinpoint the proper stimulation in order to climax.

That being said, this product might be great for beginners because it really makes masturbation fun! This could be an excellent toy if you're really frustrated with other toys because it will make you laugh. Also, even if the programs aren't orgasmic, they are very stimulating. Sitting on the Cone for an extended period of time might be a great warm up for a stronger more precise toy. So this toy could theoretically make it easier for you to orgasm via other methods (again I am assuming that the programs in the Cone are not working for you. I don't have the patience for them, so I don't expect you to). Depending on your sensitivity, after some practice, you could find yourself orgasming with the Cone alone.

Now to answer everyone's final question: Why is this product a cone-undrum (aka a conundrum)?

Since I (essentially) didn't orgasm from this toy alone, I had no idea how to give it a proper rating. I've come very close, but the Cone itself has never sent me over the edge. I will qualify that statement because I had to stop using it since it is very noisy and I didn't want to disturb my neighbors. When in use, it can be as loud as the Hitachi Wand. But blankets can muffle the noise to a degree.

The bottom line is that I love this toy. I love sitting on it. I love surfing the net with it. The Cone is constantly reminding me of my sexuality. And I love this. The Cone reminded me that masturbation is not about orgasm, it's about learning what I like and what my body wants. It's about taking time out of my busy day to experience new sensations. The Cone is also about taking risks. Daring to experience something new.

But at the end of the day, if I shell out $100+, I expect an orgasm. Or at least a tutor in geometry who knows more than one shape.