Biiiiiig and Bumpy!

Overall I actually like this toy, it just doesn't get a lot of use because of the girth + texture combined. These things might be right up your alley, in which case this is a great toy! I like a lot of thrusting and find the nubs to be a bit much along with the girth, but this may be great for someone who likes something else.
Published:
Pros
Girthy, Squishy, Bendable, Long, Texture, Attractive
Cons
Smelly, Girthy, Texture, Not waterproof, Sub-par vibrations
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

This big vibrating dong is best used for vaginal stimulation- I would not use it anally as it does not have a flared base. The nubs on the outside combined with the vibrations feel very nice for clitoral stimulation, but overall the best use of this toy is penetration. Because it is so long and also bends, I find it is easier to use on myself in different positions (ie "doggy") than many other toys. I really love this feature!

I would not use this if you don't like a LOT of texture, or a LOT of girth. My partner has more girth than this toy- he is the same as my wrist and I can't close my hand around him- but I still find this toy to be rather uncomfortable. It may be the nubs or just the fact it is a toy and not a real penis- my other toys are all much more slender, and this one really dwarfs them!

This toy is also not waterproof, so be careful where you use it and how you clean it.

Material / Texture

This is made of Crystalessence, which is PVC. It is squishy and non-porous. It smells like a new shower curtain, and washing it will not fix this. I find the smell is sometimes too strong and distracting while using it. It doesn't really taste like anything though. It is squishy, but not overly so- it takes some pressure to squeeze the head. The body is just a sleeve and is easier to squish due to the "spine" inside the toy. The texture is rather sticky when it's dry- it will pick up lint and other things easily. However, when wet it is nice and slick.

Texture-wise, it is covered in nubs. They are not huge, but due to the girth of this toy I think they feel bigger than they are. For me personally it leads to a rough and rather uncomfortable sensation during thrusting, but they are quite nice if you rub the vibrating shaft on the labia/clit area. I suspect I would like this toy a lot more without these bumpies, but this is also my first textured toy. A TON of lube may help with this issue, I'm not sure.

Design / Shape / Size

This is a BIG toy. Toy length doesn't matter a lot to me, but it is a plus if they are long so I have a lot of space to hang on to. I like that about this one. However, it is very girthy- don't be afraid to use lube because it is a very good thing. This is the toy that made me realize toys probably just plain feel bigger than penises of comparable size- my partner is slightly larger (in girth) and not uncomfortable for me, but this toy is just a bit too large for me to enjoy. This may be entirely because of the textured shaft, and is absolutely something to take into consideration. I think the girth MIGHT be just fine without the bumps, but they are an issue for this user hehe.

A neat thing about this toy is that it bends and should stay where you have bent it. This is great for g-spot stimulation and also for more easily using it in various positions. I find sometimes with a rigid toy, certain positions make it difficult and/or uncomfortable for me to continue using them on myself. It was really fun to discover otherwise with this one!

You can hear the bending, however. It sounds like popping knuckles to me. It doesn't bother me but isn't a very sexy noise and could very well bother other people.

If you are tempted to bend the living hell out of this thing with your hands when you first get it, don't. It is understandable and it is very tempting but the bottom joint that connects to the battery compartment can potentially become disconnected. The bullet is up in the head of the toy, and so there are some wires going down in the spine of it that connect to the battery compartment. Due to the flexibility of the sleeve, it is possible to bend it to the point of yanking the wires out of place. This shouldn't happen with normal use. If you are trying to bend it into a specific position and the base won't stay, I would not try to force it. Sometimes the joint pops off the battery compartment top anyway, and this does seem easy to accomplish, but it can easily be popped back on without damaging the toy. EXCESSIVE bending down there will just do bad things. The rest of the shaft is fine though and doesn't seem to come apart anywhere even with harder bending- it is also easier to lock into a desired position.

It is not discrete- it is a huge 9" long pink bumpy vibrator with a penis-shaped head. I don't think you could convince anyone it's not, even if they are blind.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The vibrating bullet is located up in the head. It has a simple dial control- one way makes the vibrations more intense, the other way will make them softer and eventually turn it off. I find this toy vibrates in a way that makes my hand feel tickly and numb, and it is very distracting. I get the same sensation inside me when using it vaginally, but it seems to be better when I rub it elsewhere. To me the vibrations are not strong- it does the job fine, but I held it in my hands along with my very standard vibrator (also dial-control) and it pales in comparison. The other one doesn't make me go numb and neither does my other vibrator so I'm not sure what it is about this particular toy. I just don't like its vibrations.

You can hear this toy if you're in the same room, but once you leave the room you cannot.

It's not waterproof- don't try it.

Care and Maintenance

This toy is really easy to care for as long as you're willing to give it a wash before use as well as after. It is made of Crystalessence (PVC), which is non-porous. It can be used with any lube and cleaned with anything (keeping in mind that it is NOT waterproof, of course). It can also be stored with anything, but due to the texture will definitely pick up hair/lint/etc. Even if I just set it on my bed, it picks up any little thing it can. The nice thing is all of this will wash off even if you just stick it under some water for a second. You just can't pull it out of storage and expect it to be ready, but I am not bothered in the slightest by this since it is still a very easy-to-clean material.

Packaging

Jesse's Vibro Flex-Dong comes in a clear blister pack. You can see the toy, and it naturally features a few photos of Jesse Jane. You could easily see the toy in the packaging, and this is a very good thing. It was also possible to squeeze the toy through the packaging and at least get some idea of the squishiness.

There were some battery insertion instructions that I did not find to be helpful or necessary- as long as you end up with one battery's negative side up top and the other's positive side, this toy will work.

The packaging could be nice for storage, but the dong does not like to enter or leave its home easily. It is a snug fit, and the plastic against the stickier toy makes it extra snug. There is also a lot of extra plastic to take up space, and I just find it easier to throw it in a drawer and get used to washing off lint.
Follow-up commentary
I've tried this toy a bit more with more lube and more play beforehand, and I'm still just not a fan. I still like the girth though and just wish it didn't have all the bumps. I found they can be nice in small doses, but I can't tolerate the toy long enough for it to be worthwhile.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • Midway through Contributor: Midway through
  • Rank:
    6.2 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 83
Comments
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  • Contributor: Solar Ray
    Great comprehensive review. Excellent job.
  • Contributor: biggieaddict
    I like hobnail texture, but havent gotten to buying a dong with it. (Some flea market glass vases have been pleasurably abused) This is a bit smaller than I like, but it is larger than the vases and with the texture it may work for me. *adds to list*
  • Contributor: The Curious Couple
    Great review, thanks!
  • Contributor: beemonkey
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: Tbanda
    Appreciate great review!
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