The Sassy Pink seven-speed “dream bullet” vibe from Topco is, indeed, pink and sassy. The vibe is attached to the control box with a 2 1/2 foot cord, providing ample room for freedom of movement. The cover of both the bullet vibe and the control box are smooth, seamless plastic, very silky to the touch, and the vibe and controller are also both waterproof. The toy is phthalate-free, and the plastic coating can be used with any variety of lube. However, plastic can absorb bacteria, so should be covered with a condom if sharing. (I think, however, that you might just want your own for yourself.)

The vibe is turned on by a button on the bottom of the controller, and then adjusted by lightly tapping a finger to the silver swirls on the front. This touch pad is much easier to use than a button or slide switch, and makes the vibe easy to switch from setting to setting. This seemingly simple little bullet has seven different patterns. Describing their differences is not so simple, but here’s an onomatopoetic user’s guide:

1 buuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
2. pulse pulse pulse pulse pulse pulse
3. pu-pu-pu-pulse, long slow buzz, long fast buzz, repeat
4. throb throb throb throb throb pu-pu-pu-pulse, repeat
5. long fast buzz, long slower buzz, long very slow buzz, long faster buzz, long fastest buzz, repeat
6. pu-pu-pu-pulse, pu-pu-pu-pulse, pu-pu-pu-pulse-pulse-pulse
7. throb throb throb throb throb throb long buzz, repeat

One note on the pattern — the advert card included the packaging promises that “Separate on/off button means the vibration won’t stop until you’ve had enough.” However, when you tap the pad for the 8th time, the vibe goes into a still “stand-by” mode instead of switching back to the 1st pattern. This means the vibrations will stop if you keep tapping, although they are very easy to start up again.

The controller uses 3 AAA batteries. Pay close attention to how they are placed. The directions on the enclosed card are not correct. The controller has marks showing where to have the positive and negative ends of the batteries in each battery case. The two different sets of information is unnecessarily confusing, but the company makes up for that slip by including the advice “Please love yourself and Mother Earth responsibly; use rechargeable batteries.” I give that advice constantly myself, and keep a battery charger on hand at all times with spares charged and ready to go.

Battery placement issues aside, this is a sweet little toy. It’s a lot of fun for a very reasonable price. The vibe, when in use, is very quiet for its power, and the variations of speed and intensity make for a great adventure.

I’ve played with this toy several times now. While none of the vibes are strong enough to bring me to orgasm, the trip through the seven different patterns is a great way to warm up. My favorite, I think, is pattern 4, with both throbs and pulses. I definitely prefer the variations to bullets with a single high-speed buzz.

I suspect that, with the length of the cord and the discreet quiet of the vibe, one could, if one were so inclined, tuck the controller into a pocket and put the vibe to teasing use while wandering through public spaces. I've not tried that myself, but it is now on my life-list.

I’ve been using the vibe externally, vulva-only. If you want to use it vaginally, I strongly recommend using a condom, so the vibe can pulled out without jerking on its power cord, as this will eventually pull the cord from the toy. I wish some of these companies would add a small handle to the bullet vibe, like the loops on Smart Balls, so the toy could be used vaginally without risk to the cord.

The experience of being moved by different patterns makes me yearn for one of the much more experience programmable vibes that can be set to favorite, pre-determined rhythms. But the best sex is always sex that helps you learn more about your own body and your own desire, making the Sassy Pink a great sex toy.

I did still like this vibe, a lot, until I took it on a social visit for some casual fun, accidentally left it behind when I packed the toy bag, and had it confiscated! Sassy's new owner loves her. A lot. So much that I'm not sure I'm necessary any more. Humph.

Most importantly, the point where the cord connects to the vibe has stayed strong, with no fraying and no subsequent poorly-timed power disruptions. Or so I've been told, since my visiting rights were denied lest I confiscate her again. Many less expensive bullet vibes don't hold up to much play, but our little Sassy has spirit. Now that I've played with a much broader range of vibes, I'd rate her Vroom as a 3, not 4, but a very pleasant and interesting 3.